The World Is Ugly
by Karolxx
Summary: *based in present time/2013 set a year after book/movie,everyone goes to the same school* Patrick meets someone. After Brad he didn't think he would experience these feelings again. The rush. The excitement. However, here's the twist. This person is a girl. A girl who will cause Patrick to question his sexuality whilst he helps her move on from her past. Patrick/OC
1. Chapter 1

I took a large sip of my whiskey to calm my nerves. Watching Brad dancing with his so called new 'girlfriend' made me want to puke my guts out. High school was such a drag... I started to feel slightly dizzy as my eyes took in the image of a crying Sam. She pushed the wide entrance doors and stepped outside. I guess she finally found out about Craig and his nasty habit. I got up from my chair and followed her into the cold darkness only to find her leaning on the wall, shivering as she lit her cigarette. I took off my suit jacket for Sam and draped it around her shoulders. "Thanks", she muttered. I slowly put my arms around her as she rested her head against my chest, dropping her cigarette. With that, she began to tremble as the tears fell down to the cold concrete floor.

My eyes fluttered open as the harsh light entered my room. Man, I got too stoned last night. My dad better not find out or shit will go down…again. Sam slept in my room last night since she could barely walk properly after last night. I won't go too much into what happened but it did involve me taking a bottle of vodka from our graduation party. I don't even remember most of it. I glanced at my alarm clock which flashed the numbers 13:37. What time did we get home last night? Or, more importantly, how? Both, me and Sam, were way too drunk to drive…Charlie. I must have called him or something. Maybe we stopped by his house. My thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pain shooting through my head. Tip 1 for being a teenager with a lifestyle like mine: never, I mean NEVER mix whiskey with vodka. Oh, and Tip 2: whatever you do, DON'T eat Bob's 'special' brownies if you're drunk.

Luckily by the time I got dressed and had a shower and everything, it was about three in the afternoon so my dad and step mom were already at work. 'Good. They don't have to see me with these bags under my eyes' I thought. Sam decided to spend the rest of the day in bed and asked me to get her some ice cream if I get a chance when I go out to the music store... I had a quick breakfast, which ended up being a stolen cookie from the 'Cookie Jar' and two headache pills that I had to drink down with water. After that, I put on my dark sunglasses so the daylight wouldn't hurt my eyes, since they were still in their post-stoned stage, and left the house gently slamming the door behind me.

The journey to the grocery and music store as quite fast since I was able to drive my brand new black Impala. My dad made a deal with me that as long as I get at least B's in all my subjects then I can have his car, since he was going to get a boring silver Volvo and I couldn't borrow Sam's truck because it was currently in repair. I parked close to the music store and switched off the engine of my car. Walking in a brisk pace I entered the little shop causing the bells on the inside of the door frame to jingle. "Hi Jimmy", I greeted the owner. I slowly dragged my worn out body to the Rock and Indie section. Surprisingly there was already someone there which never happened before. I lifted up my sunglasses and saw that there was a brunette girl who looked about my age looking at a 'Death Cab for Cutie' CD.

"Their new album's pretty great."

"I'm trying to check out some of their older stuff. Slightly, widen my horizons I guess." She replied silently, not to disturb any of the other customers.

"Hmm. Have you heard any songs by The Xx?" I asked, continuing our little conversation.

"Yeah 'course, they're quite good, especially 'Angels' and 'Shelter'"

I chuckled slightly, "Those are really good, aren't they? Well if you're a fan of Death Cab and The Xx you should check out The Lumineers. Favourite band of all time." I suggested pointing to one of the band's records.

"Huh. Alright, let me just trust this stranger to pick out music for me" she smiled laughing lightly at her own joke.

"Right, sorry, I'm Patrick. You are?" I took out my hand from my pocket for her to shake.

"Mommy taught me not to speak to strangers" she said pushing her lower lip out a bit, making a puppy dog expression,

"No, I'm kidding, I'm Jo, short for Joanna" She replied shaking my hand. Suddenly something vibrated in my pocket. Quickly, realising it was my phone I excused myself from Joanna and went to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Patrick, where are you? It doesn't usually take you this long to pop into the shop"

"Right, yeah, I'm on my way home, got a bit held up"

"Alright well I'll see you soon, if my ice cream has melted-" I quickly hang up remembering that the ice cream was probably melting inside the car.

"Hey Jimmy! You got a pen?" I half shouted. The bearded man behind the counter took some time but eventually managed to throw a green sharpie which I managed to catch.

"Well it was nice meeting you Jo" I said whilst taking the girl's hand and using the sharpie to write my number on her palm.

"See you around!" I waved my hand in her direction, leaving the store.

"Bye Patrick!"

I smiled to myself as I made my way towards my car. It was great to meet new people, especially ones with great music taste. I got into my car and drove out of my parking space, stealing a quick glance at the tub of ice cream in the shotgun seat. Hopefully, Sam won't mind.

I quickly got back home and locked the car after grabbing Sam's 'Bakes Alaska' Ben&Jerry's ice cream.

"Sam darling, I'm home. Did you miss me?" I shouted in a loud and posh voice.

"Patrick, my dear. How could I not have missed such a handsome face?" Sam replied walking down the stairs dramatically and copying my mocking manner.

"Oh you are too kind, love. Just took kind." I laughed. We always found a way to laugh together even if we weren't really in the mood.

"You got my ice cream?"

"What, no hug? No ice cream for you Samantha." I said turning around to walk into the kitchen.

"Noo. Come here you idiot." She trailed behind me, dragging her feet with her. She wrapped her small frame around me and squeezed the crap out of me before quickly opening the tub of ice cream, taking a spoon and digging in and pushing a mouth full of the cold thing into her mouth. She sat on one of the high stools in the kitchen whilst I leaned against the table.

"So what to you so long?" She asked after a while.

"Nothing…just went to the music store" I replied a tad too quickly.

"Right… I swear you already have every CD from that shop that's worth buying. And almost everyone's away for the summer. It couldn't have been Bob 'cause you know how he gets after those parties."

"Oh God, it takes days for him to 'be able to face the daylight'" I let out a loud laugh thinking about poor Bob, always complaining about the sun being too bright at school.

"So what did you do?" Sam was very stubborn and she could tell when there was something I wasn't telling her.

"I was talking to someone."

"Jimmy?" she enquired.

"Nope. Some girl was in the Indie section. Do you know how rare it is to find someone except either of us or Charlie there?"

"What?!" her eyes were wide open and she looked far more alert than she had before.

"I know. I seriously thought we were the only ones who ever went there. I haven't seen her around town or school before though so I'm guessing she just moved here."

"A girl?"

"Yeah, a girl." I replied sceptically.

"So you just decided to speak to this girl?"

"She was looking at a Death Cab CD" I said bluntly.

"There are others like us, Patrick! I swear it is so unusual to come across someone who listens to Death Cab, I'd rather look for a needle in a haystack." She stuck another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, pondering quietly.

"Well?" she started investigating again.

"Well what?" I asked pouring myself a glass of water.

"What happened?"

"I just suggested some music to her and wrote my number on her hand before leaving."

"What about Brad?"

I didn't expect her to say that. Out of all things she could have possibly said then I would have never expected her to ask me about him. I just wanted to forget it. Forget the whole incident. All of it. All of them. Him.

"What about him?" I sighed.

"I mean you really liked him Patrick. This is probably the weirdest thing I'm ever going to ask but, are you still gay or…?"

I started to laugh. "Well yeah, I think I am but this girl she just had this cute look about her you know. The cute sweatpants look that shows that she's not one of those girls who will get all dressed up just to go to the shop, you know. And her music taste is something quite complimentary, if I do say so myself"

"Hmm, okay. Well if you think she's alright then that's fine with me." She smiled at me, her reassuring Sam smile.

"Great. Well we'll see what happens. She might not even call, no one knows."

"Please. She'll call. After all, who wouldn't want to call a guy who decided to start talking to her, out of the blue in a music store?" Sam joked.

"Shut up and eat your ice cream" I said nudging her with my elbow. I mean who knew, she might not call, but there is the tiniest possibility that she might. I guess it was all up to her now.


	2. Chapter 2

Moving from California to Pittsburgh was not been something I ever expected to do. Both of my parents had really good jobs, all my friends were there. The only things I got to keep were my clothes and my music. However, the upside to the whole moving was that I got to have a pet. This was only because we used to live in a flat where our neighbours were not very animal friendly. This changed of course the night my parents to tell me the news…

"_Honey, we have something to tell you." My mom's strong gaze burned into me as I chewed some food in my mouth._

"_Sure, what is it?" I reply after quickly swallowing. I could tell this wasn't good news by the way my dad kept pulling at his tie during dinner, he only ever did that when he was nervous._

"_Listen, we know this might not sound very appealing but we want you to know that this is for your own good."_

"_We're buying a house in Pittsburgh." My dad blurted out. I quickly stood up and stepped away from the well prepared table. Now I knew the reason why my mother cooked tonight, she rarely cooked._

"_What?! We're moving?! For my own good my ass! Did you not think that maybe I have friends here? I go to school here! My whole life is in this place and you think we can just pack our bags and move to another state, all the way across America? Hell no!"_

The annoying memory was still something I hope to wake up and find untrue but here I am, in Pittsburgh, unpacking my suitcases as Paramore blew through the speakers of my radio.

So far this was probably the worst choice my parents could have ever made for me and I was still angry at them for doing so. I mean I could kind of see where they were coming from, with all the events which took place during the previous year maybe they wanted to keep me away from Cali.

The only good thing that happened was that I got to meet a really cool and very handsome guy. I was so excited to find a great music store in this town; at least I'd have access to music. I was surprised when he started talking to me and I've got to admit at first I was a little creeped out but in the end I ended up buying a CD by The Lumineers and really liked it. So I decided I might actually give this stranger, Patrick, a call today and maybe get to know him better.

"Joanna!" _Great…_ I thought as I heard my mother's strict voice call my name. She refused to call me Jo unlike every other person on this planet. At least my dad was fine with it.

"Yes, mom?" I walked out of my room and leaned over the barrier of the stairs to find my mom and dad dressed in their suits with two small grey suitcases on the floor.

"We're leaving now."

"Already? We only just moved in and you're already going on another business trip. When will you be back?"

"Three or four days, I'll give you a call when I know. We've got a plane to catch, bye sweetie."

"Bye guys." I replied giving them both a brief hug and a peck on the cheek.

I didn't mind them leaving, they were gone most of the time anyway and I was pretty much used to it by now. Usually I ended up sleeping over at my friends' or having someone stay at mine but I was new to this town and only met one person which I barely knew. I waved to them as they pulled out of the driveway and slowly watched the boring grey car disappear from my sight. I walked back into the house walked up to my room. Picking up my mobile phone I dialled the number which I noted down from my hand the day before.

_Ring, ring._

_Ring, ring._

_Ring-_

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Jo. From the music store yesterday." I said hoping he remembered who I am.

"Jo! Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, just wondering, are you busy right now?"

"Nahh, I'm not doing much, why?"

"Do you maybe want to meet up and go for a coffee?" I asked, crossing my fingers.

"Sure, that'd be fun. Where do you want me to meet you? Wait, did you just move here?"

"Umm yeah..." I replied, curious to see what he was getting at.

"Do you want me to show you around town? I can show you all the best places." I could hear the smile and proudness in his voice causing me to laugh.

"That would be perfect, thanks Patrick."

"Alright, I'll pick you up at 3."

After that I gave him my address and we said our goodbyes. Hanging up I dropped my phone on my bed and rushed to my cupboard where my recently unpacked clothes were. Everything else in the house was set up by my parents the day before but I was too tired and fell asleep before I got a chance to look for my pyjamas. Looking through my cupboard I picked out a plain, dark green vest top and some ¾ jeans. I decided to wear this outfit with my leather flip flops I still had from all those trips down to the beach back in Cali. The weather wasn't as hot here but it was still hot enough for flip flops. Once I was dressed I put some make-up on but not too much, I liked it natural, the only time I paid more attention to my make-up was if I was going to any party. Once I was done I went down to the living room and watched some TV waiting for Patrick.

Eventually the clock reached 3 and soon after there was a knock at the door. I switched the TV off, grabbed my bag and pulled my black cardigan on. I opened the wooden door to reveal Patrick's tall frame.

"Hey, Jo. You look nice, ready to go?" His comment brought a quick smile to my face.

"Thank you, yeah let's go." I took out my keys and locked the door to the house before walking after Patrick. He took out some keys and opened the door to an amazing, black car. I walked around the other side and got into the passenger's seat.

"Nice car Patrick. So where are we going first?" He started the engine and we quickly left my new house behind.

"I was thinking we could just ride around town and I can show you where the places worth knowing are and then we can just stop by this great café just outside of town. That sound okay?"

"Sounds fantastic." I said beaming up at him.

We drove around a bit whilst he showed me where the school which I guess I will be attending is, the diner which was a popular place for people our age to hang out, the cinema and some other shops which would be useful to visit for food and clothes. Whilst we drove we talked a bit about ourselves, the usual chat you have when you first meet people and get to know the basic info. After a while we pulled up by a café on the corner of the street. We got out of the car and Patrick led me inside. The café was a medium size but was very cosy. The tables and chairs were all made of dark wood and the walls were painted a light peachy colour. Different paintings and images hung on the walls, including a large copy of the menu which was located where everyone was able to see it. We decided to sit near the back where there were less people and it was a bit more quite.

"What would you like?" He asked leaning on the back of his chair.

"I don't know, I haven't tried anything here yet."

"I'll get you my favourite." He said in an excited tone. He went up to the cashier and ordered two of whatever his favourite was and after he paid for both drinks he came to sit back down. The people working in the café were really quickly because we barely got to say towards before our drinks were brought to us.

"Two large white chocolate macchiatos" the waiter said as he placed the two drinks on our table.

"Thank you" I said taking a sip of my drink. The coffee was better than anything I had in Cali and I've had plenty of different coffee drinks. I loved the foam and the little chocolate scrapings on top.

"Mmm.. this is amazing." I murmured, closing my eyes to take in the pleasurable heat of my coffee.

"I know, my step-sister introduced me to it."

"Step-sister?"

"Yeah my dad married Sam's mom so… yeah." He laughed lightly.

"So what about you? How come your family moved here? Where did you even move from?" he asked, taking a sip of his beverage.

"We moved from California so I guess it was quite a long way. And, we moved because my parents have to go on business trips often but most of the ones they go on are closer to this area." I took a long, slow sip of my macchiato. What I said was true. My parents did go to business trips which were generally closer to Pennsylvania rather than California, but I didn't want to tell Patrick what happened that made them so set on the idea of moving.

"That is a long way, but at least you got to meet the best person ever and got him to show you around town, not many people get that." This made me laugh really hard.

"You know lying won't get you far in life." I said in a joking tone.

"Your words hurt me, Joanna, they truly do." He said faking hurt and dramatically placing his hand over his upper chest. I started to laugh at his expression and he soon joined in. After this I excused myself to go to the ladies' room whilst he finished his coffee. When I came back Patrick was texting someone on his phone. I sat down and waited for him to finish. Once he was done he slipped his phone into the pocket of his jacket and looked up at me.

"Should we go now?" he asked.

"Yeah sure." We left the coffee shop and got into the car once again. On the way back we didn't talk much as we were listening to a CD Patrick said his friend Charlie has given him. Honestly, it had some great songs on there. Finally, we pulled up in my driveway and I opened the door of the car to get out.

"Hey, my friend's having a party next weekend; do you wanna come and meet the rest of the crew?"

"Sure, I'd love to. Thanks for today I had a lot of fun. " I smiled at Patrick one last time before getting out of the car and unlocking my front door. I watched Patrick pull out of the driveway and I gave him a small wave before closing my door and dropping down onto the sofa in the living room.

I was definitely looking forward to that party.


	3. Chapter 3

The next couple of days I spent reading and catching up with various TV shows I had missed during the time I had to move. The house was empty and for the first time in ages I actually felt the emptiness of the big house which quieter than the emptiness of our apartment back in Cali. My parents called each evening to check up on me and to tell me that they had a lot to catch up on because of missing some work when we were moving and wouldn't be returning until Sunday morning. This was fine with me seeing as the party Patrick had invited me to was in two days which was a Friday. I decided I wasn't really bothered to go out and buy any new clothes for the party because I already had a few nice dresses which I wouldn't mind wearing a few more times.

After a few more hours of watching TV I realised I was pretty hungry but wasn't bothered to walk to the grocery store. _The one time they take the car they just forget to stock me up on food..._ This just ended up in me contemplating about calling my new friend Patrick so I could beg him to drive me to the food store. Of course, being the gentleman that he is, he politely agreed but only after I promised to cook some dinner for him. I didn't mind cooking dinner seeing as I had to cook for myself almost all the time as there was no one else to do it at home. Well, except the times my mom cooked which I would be able to count on one hand... I doubted that she'd be cooking for me any time soon due to our conversation last night. I don't think you'd even be able to call it a conversation because she didn't really seem to be listening to me at all...

_*flashback*___

_"It's fine mom, stay as long as you need I'm fine, seriously, stop stressing so much or you'll get wrinkles and everyone knows how much you'd hate that" I joked.___

_"Honey I have every right to stress, you know how I'd hate for that night to replay." Obviously her humour wasn't great...___

_"Mom, I'm fine. The house is locked and on the weekend I'm going to a friend's party and I'll probably stay there so it's not like I'm alone for the whole week." I replied wanting her to finally understand the point I was trying to make. The pointless banter had been going on for about 5 minutes already but it felt like years listening to my mother tell me the same thing she told me every time she called.___

_"A party? Why would you be going to a party after your incident last time? Do you know how scared I was for you then? I hope to never go near a hospital again, I've spent enough time in that place to last a lifetime" she hissed forcing the blurry memories of that night.___

_"I'll be safe, mom, I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow, love ya." I sighed ending the conversation._

So yeah, that's basically how the conversation went on almost every night. I know my mom cares a lot but sometimes she needs to step down a notch and realise that I'm not a china doll, I'm not gonna corrupt with one touch. Anyway, enough complaining. I went upstairs to get dressed. Just as I was about to get out of the doorbell rang and I ran downstairs to open the door.

"Hello there." The voice of my only friend in this town brought a small smile to my lips. "Why are you still not dressed, its 4 in the afternoon, normal people are dressed and out at this time." He stated with mock disapproval in his voice as he analysed what I was wearing. I let him come inside, letting the summer breeze in, and he closed the door behind him.

"Hush, I'm lazy, accept it." I replied shooting him a quick grin as I ran back up to my room to quickly get dressed. "Make yourself at home." I shouted before throwing on some sweatpants and a T-shirt. I quickly sorted out my hair and put on a tiny amount of make-up. When I walked downstairs I found Patrick sitting on the sofa whilst some adverts played in the background.

"Okay let's go." He gave me a quick smile and we walked out and into his car once again. The journey to the grocery store was quick and we barely got a chance to talk except for Patrick updating me on the few details of the party. He said that some of his friends were finally coming back from their short vacations and so one of the friends who stayed, Bob, decided to throw a party. When I said that the party was a nice gesture from Bob, Patrick laughed and told me that Bob just looks for an excuse to have a party and get high with people. Once we got to the shop we quickly made our way around the shop and bought some stuff for dinner. Everything went pretty quick until we had to decide which ice cream to get at which point I wanted to get the Cookie Dough whilst Patrick wanted plain vanilla.

"Rock, paper scissors?" Patrick suggested. He was so going down.

"One, two, three!" we said causing people to give us strange looks.

"Haha! I win!" Patrick punched the air in victory just as I realised that he did paper and I did rock.

"Screw this I'm getting both." This caused both of us to laugh. After I paid we drove back to my house and I started to make pancakes whilst Patrick showed himself around the house and watched some TV. Once I was done both of us sat down at the table and ate out pancakes with Nutella and ice cream.

"Your girlfriend must be pretty content with having a guy who would drive her to the grocery store any time she's hungry." I said jokingly.

"I don't have a girlfriend." He replied.

"What?!" I asked completely taken by surprise. A guy as polite as Patrick was certain to have a girlfriend.

"Nope, I'm uhh… I'm actually gay." He said looking down at his plate.

"Oh, well what about a guy? Come on, you're nice and funny and good-looking, there is no way there isn't someone."

"You're okay with me being gay?" he asked shocked. The question threw me off. Why wouldn't I be okay with him being gay? Although, yeah, maybe I was developing the tiniest crush on him but that didn't matter.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"A lot of people at school don't know but my ex-boyfriends dad wasn't exactly at peace with his son being gay and it didn't end well for either of us."

"Oh gosh, did he do something to you?" I asked concerned.

"No, the guy's friends kinda beat me up. It's not something I like to think about."

"I'm so sorry." I said. And I really was. The room was filled with slight awkwardness but was quickly stopped by Patrick.

"What about you then? Is there a guy back in California?" he asked, winking.

"There was but he broke up with me a couple weeks before we moved." I said simply. Sure, I was still really upset about it seeing as we dated for about 2 years but that didn't mean I was gonna go all emotional on Patrick.

"Dude doesn't know what great pancakes he's missing. Why would he break want to break up?" Patrick asked. His previous statement made me laugh slightly before I answered his question.

"I don't know, he didn't really specify his reasons." Once again the little white lie escaped my lips. I didn't mean to but I wasn't all for recalling the events of the accident which caused my boyfriend to break up with me. His side of the story was still unknown but I didn't want to call and hear his voice just to be reminded of what I no longer had. I didn't realise I got lost in my thoughts until Patrick's voice caught my attention.

"Listen girlie, neither of us are going to be resentful because of what happened. There's a party on Friday and you've got lots of cool people to meet, obviously not as great as me, but you get the idea. Now let's chill and watch a movie because I am full and probably won't be able to move for the next two hours after eating all of that."

Patrick's little speech brought a big grin to my lips. I took his and my plate and put both of them into the dishwasher. During this time Patrick picked a movie from my little movie collection and was in the middle of putting it into the DVD player when I asked, "What are we watching?"

"Fired Up? I've already seen it but I really like it."

"Yeah it's hilarious, didn't really think you'd pick a cheerleader movie though." I teased him. "Right, well I'm gonna get some blankets and you can make the popcorn. I put it on top of the counter; just pop it into the microwave for however long the instruction says." I said before jogging up the stairs and grabbing two large blankets out of my parents' cupboard. Once the popcorn was done we settled down on the couch and I covered myself with a blanket giving the other one to Patrick. Throughout the movie we laughed a lot and made fun of each other for doing the panthers' hand thing. Soon after the movie finished, Patrick had to leave and I was left to the comfortableness of the sofa where I slept till the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to Rox1108. Thank you for the lovely review! It was the only reason I was actually bothered to write :) enjoy xxx**

I looked at my tall figure in the large mirror examining for any flaws which I would need to get rid of before Patrick picks me up for his friend's Bob's party. You could say I was quite excited to go to the party seeing as I was gonna meet Patrick's friends and step-sister. I have to admit I spent a bit longer than I usually would have if I was going out to a party. Patrick already told me that it's not fancy or anything, just casual but I still wanted to look good tonight. This evening was meant to be all about enjoying myself before I start high school in Pittsburgh. I didn't know whether to look forward to it or not but I guess I've got Patrick and hopefully I'll get to know more people tonight.

I twirled in the mirror for the last time before grabbing my purse and shoving all my crap into it. I went down and put my shoes on and sat on the bottom of the stairs awaiting Patrick's arrival. Quickly the distorted form of Patrick approached my door and I opened right as he was about to press the bell. This apparently seemed to be very amusing to the guy in the dark green shirt and jeans standing in my doorway. He looked great. The outfit would normally be very, very casual but something about Patrick made it look just right for the occasion.

"Someone's eager to go." He smirked slightly before noticing my outfit which I had picked out earlier today. Ok, fine, maybe I've been trying to decide what to wear ever since he told me about the party but that doesn't mean he has to know. His eyes scanned my body and I felt slight nervousness as he did this.

"You're late." I said smiling up at him with a teasing look in my eye.

"Well excuse me princess, some of us take longer than others to look this fab." He joked back. That's what I really liked about Patrick. Unlike many people he knew how to take a joke and joke back in a similar teasing manner.

"Careful, you never know when your head's gonna get too big from those lies you tell yourself." I laughed slightly at the end letting him know I was still messing around.

"My head is the perfect size thank you very much. It's yours you should be worried about, I've barely known you two weeks and I can already see a difference."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." That put our little mockery to an end. By this time we were already in the car and on our way to Bob's. Patrick decided not to play any music because the drive there was short and he wasn't too bothered about it.

"So, this party, what's it going to be like?" I pondered. I thought about it a lot over the last two days. Patrick mentioned that Bob only wanted to throw the party so that he had an excuse to get high with people so maybe that's what we'll do. But he also said that it's gonna be a little tribute party because of the end of summer and the beginning of hell.

"Well I guess there will probably be drugs, Bob's favourite thing to do. Or if a good song comes on there might also be some dancing. And if we choose to join Bob in his hobby we might end up doing a lot of crazy shit." Patrick replied.

The car pulled up and the engine stopped in front of a large white house. I could hear some music already. Hopefully there were already some people there because I really hate arriving first.

"By the way, you look great tonight." Patrick's compliment caused me to blush slightly but I quickly recovered myself by saying, "Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." We got out of the car and walked up to the large door of the beautiful house. Patrick rang the doorbell four times before someone, who I guess was Bob, opened the door.

"Aaahh! Patrick! Long time no see! How have you been, man?" the guy came out of the door way and threw himself onto Patrick and kind of hugged him with one arm. The action of the clearly drunk/high guy however took him by surprise causing him to slightly lose balance. Luckily, he was quickly able to regain it by gently pushing the guy off him. I laughed at the image of skinny Patrick getting mauled over by this fairly big guy. "And who is this beautiful, admirable and beautiful creature. I don't believe we've met."

"Bob, you said beautiful twice…" Patrick stated trying to hold his laughter in as he looked at the stoned state of his friend.

"Will you marry me?" Bob asked directing his gaze back to mine after scoffing at Patrick's previous statement.

"Bob stop harassing the poor girl! Patrick! Finally, we thought you two would never get here." The voice of came from the hall and my eyes snapped to the slim figure of a very pretty girl.

"Well this diva was taking time to get ready apparently." I said pointing to Patrick. The girl in the hall smiled at my little joke and laughed at Patrick's glare which was directed towards me. "I'm Jo, by the way." I said with a little wave.

"Jo! Yes I've heard a lot about you, I'm Sam, Patrick's step-sister. Anyway let's get inside." She grabbed my wrist and started to guide me inside with Patrick following us.

"Sam, will you marry me instead then?" Bob's slurred voice rang out from behind us.

"You already asked me last year Bob, the answer's still the same." Sam called out to the person who was dragging himself behind Patrick.

I found myself in a dimmed living room with about 15 other people. Some were dancing, but not many, most were sitting on the sofa or the floor smoking, drinking, laughing. As we walked in some guy stood up and began to walk in our direction. He walked up to Patrick and they did the one arm guy hug, then he stood next to Sam and slid his arm around her waist.

"Jo, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is Jo." Patrick introduced us.

"As in Jo from the music store?" Charlie questioned.

"Yes the Jo from the music store."

"I guess I'm Jo from the music store." I laughed with the rest of the group.

"Hey, I'm gonna get us some drinks, be right back." Patrick went off leaving me with Sam and I guess her boyfriend Charlie.

"So did you just move here?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, from California."

"I've been there once. The beach was just beautiful. Are you joining our lovely school then?" The sarcasm in Sam's voice made me laugh.

"I guess so. My parents haven't told me where I'm going exactly yet but I think it's the closest school to where we live."

"That's great. Well I'm gonna go and dance with this handsome guy over here, hope you enjoy your night." She took Charlie's hand and pulled him towards where a few other people were already dancing.

"Here you are, milady" Patrick held out a glass with some kind of pink drink in his hand.

"Thank you, milord. May I ask what this is?" I inspected the pink liquid carefully.

"To be honest with you, I have no idea. Bob would know, he probably mixed 5 different drinks to make this. Come on, I want you to meet everyone else." We walked towards the sofa where some people were already drinking the strange pink beverage.

"Guys, this is Jo. Jo this is everyone." He said and pointed to everyone. We sat down and he began to tell me everyone's names. "That's Mary Elizabeth and her boyfriend, Peter. They've been together for some time now but I'm not sure it's gonna last with that girl. That's Alice. And you've already met Sam, Charlie and Bob. The rest of the people are probably Bob's friends but I have no idea who they are."

Right at that moment Bob decided to offer everyone some brownies which he apparently baked himself. I guess it was a miracle he didn't burn the house down with how high he already was. I grabbed two brownies and quickly ate the first one. I took a mouthful of my drink to wash-down the brownie before proceeding to do the same with my other one. I noticed Mary Elizabeth looking in my direction with an amused look. I gave her a confused look.

"This is gonna be a repeat of what happened to Charlie last year." Of course I had no idea what happened to Charlie but everyone else seemed to find it funny. I smiled at everyone and stood up to get another drink.

Six brownies and four glasses of Bob's 'Pink Lemonade' I was pretty drunk. And also quite high. My vision was becoming a bit blurry too. "Why would Bob name his drink 'Pink Lemonade'? It's weird."

I liked his brownies though. "Mmm… those brownies." I grabbed another one off the plate he put on the table at the beginning of the evening. The music pumped through my ears and everybody watched me carefully as I nodded my head to the music. I had spread myself out on the sofa and my head ended up on Patrick's lap whilst the rest of my body was on Bob, Sam and Charlie. Other people including Mary Elizabeth and Peter sat on the sofa opposite us and watched me with interest. Apparently whatever I was saying was funny because everyone was laughing. Mary Elizabeth found my behaviour really entertaining because I heard some people mention that she had been crying of laughter. I finished what I guessed was my 7th brownie and put my head back on Patrick's lap. I noticed that Patrick had a huge grin on his face.

"Bob! Do you have ice cream? Tell me you have ice cream. I would _really _love some ice cream." I whined. This caused everyone to laugh once again. Mary Elizabeth muttered something but the only words I managed to understand were 'Charlie' and 'milkshake'.

"I'll check the freezer." He said with a large smile. He moved my legs off him so that he could get off the sofa but placed them back on Charlie's legs before leaving. I began playing with Patrick's hair to pass time until Bob came back. I curled one strand around my finger. Soon Bob came back with a large tub of strawberry ice cream.

"Oh my gosh, you are my new best friend!" I exclaimed as I sat up and claimed the cold box and a spoon from his hands. My declaration resulted in another wave of laughter from my audience. I pulled the lid off the ice cream box and gathered a spoonful of ice cream before shoving it all into my mouth.

"Wis is wovewy" I said which cause everyone to erupt in amusement once more. I then proceeded to swallow some of the ice cream which didn't end up well. "Ooww, brain freeze." I moaned grabbing my head.

"We should probably get you to bed." Patrick said. I placed the box of ice cream in Sam's lap and laid down once again. I stared up into Patrick's eyes. It was quite clear that I had lost control over my actions when my hands suddenly found themselves on Patrick's face and pushing his hair back, causing him to look straight down at me. "Patrick, I am not going anywhere. You cannot make me." I said before I stuck out my tongue at him and let go of his head. "Bobby, do you have a pool?" I said batting my eyelashes at him. Like I said, I had no idea what caused me to act like this and I was not acting like I usually would.

"No, but my neighbours do." Bob replied with an evil look in his eyes. I already had a vague idea of what he was suggesting. And I was totally up for it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, sorry I've been taking so long to update but I had exams and just lots of work but now I have a week off so I'll try and update more. This one goes to my friend Isabelle who gave me the idea for this chapter. Just a small recommendation guys, watch Les Miserables, *insert fangirl noise here* it is amazing, I loved it, seriously watch it guys, fangirl with me **** x**

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together this man and woman in holy matrimony."

Bob and I stood facing each other on the side of the pool as Patrick recited the words which he printed out from the internet. Not so long ago the whole group decided to follow Bob and me to his neighbour's pool. Luckily the neighbours were away for the weekend; otherwise they would have already heard the large amount of noise we were all making.

After we climbed over I suggested that we all jump in to the pool, this caused the very stoned Bob to once again ask me to marry him. However this time, I agreed. I really did have too many of those brownies. With Sam, Mary Elizabeth and Alice as my bridesmaids and Charlie being Bob's best man, this left Patrick to be the priest.

"Do you, Jo Harvelle, take this umm man to be your lawfully wedded husband? In sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for better and for worse for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I laughed slightly still looking at Bob.

Patrick then read out the same words to Bob and he replied with, "I do."

"I pronounce you, Jo Harvelle and Bob whatever the hell your last name is, as husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." Patrick finished.

As Bob closed his eyes and leaned in I stretched my arms out and pushed him into the pool. Bob's body hit the water with an enormous splash causing the water to spray everyone standing on the sides. The whole group of us erupted with enormous laughter as Bob rose up with a shocked expression. I'm guessing he didn't expect that.

What I didn't expect however was for Patrick to push me into the pool. Luckily I managed to grab onto his arm as I fell which then caused him to stumble and fall into the pool with me. Both of us hit the water with a large noise. When we rose up Bob was already trying to climb out, however Patrick swam up to him and pulled him back in by his ankle. I swam to the other side away from either of them and quickly climbed out and ran up to Charlie. I leaned up and whispered something into his ear. He looked at me with a smile, "I can't believe you're gonna make me do this." I grinned knowing how annoyed Mary Elizabeth is gonna get. Then I walked up to Alice and told her to push Charlie into the pool.

Whilst this was happening Patrick and Bob were splashing each other with water like the children that they were. Right then, Charlie pushed Mary Elizabeth into the pool. Alice knew that it was her turn so she then walked up to a laughing Charlie and pushed him in. I already knew that Sam would push anyone who pushed Charlie in so once Alice was in the water I tapped Sam and the shoulder causing her to turn and gave her an innocent smile before I pushed her in too. Everyone was now splashing and swimming and trying to attack each other. I still stood at the side of the pool and laughed at the group of maniacs in the water.

Patrick saw that I stood there laughing at them and swam up to Charlie, who was trying to get away from Sam's splashing, and told him something which I couldn't hear due to all the noise the others were causing. I'm guessing Charlie liked what Patrick had said because both of them were starting to climb out of the pool. By the time they were out I realised what they were going to do and started running in the opposite direction. Charlie told Patrick to go the other way so that wherever I went I was basically trapped.

As both of them cut off any get away route Patrick grabbed me by the shoulders. "Grab her legs." Patrick said, smiling. Now I was worried. They were gonna throw me into the pool. I tried wriggling out of Patrick's grasp but Charlie was already holding onto my legs, so I tried to kinda kick him instead. They carried me to the side of the pool as everyone stopped and watched them begin to swing me from side to side.

"5…4…3…2…1…" everyone chanted. They were now on the other side of the pool and had already managed to climb out and sit on the age. Before I knew it I felt a rush of air and then a sudden coldness as a loud shout of "Zero!" was drowned out by the noise of my massive splash. I was submerged under the water for a good fifteen seconds before the water stopped pushing down at me. However, because I screamed as I fell into the pool my mouth and now lungs were slightly filling up with water. I lost control of my legs due to the panic and tried to flip my arms and use them to swim up. Unfortunately I was at the deep end; everyone else was at the shallow end. I could feel myself slipping out of consciousness. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be swallowed by the large entity of water.

It took me quite some time to realise that I was okay. As in not being very close to death okay. I could feel someone's warm hands pumping on my chest to try and get the water out of my lungs. Suddenly a feeling of sickness and vomit caused me to get out of my unconscious state, I sat up faster than a bullet and all the water in my lungs and some of the food and alcohol I had eaten were emptied. There was a chorus of sighs of relief and I was finally able to open my eyes. I lied back down and felt a wet carpet underneath me. Patrick's face suddenly appeared in front of me and I grasped onto his shirt as he pulled me into his warm embrace. We sat there for quite some time as he rocked back and forth, not letting go of me as tears mixed themselves with the water which I was soaked in.

"Come on, let's get you home." Patrick said softly. He sounded very upset by what happened.

"Wait, at least take some blankets so she can warm up." Bob said as he walked down the stairs with a huge pile of blankets. Patrick decided to take one and wrapped it around my shoulders as I stood looking at the floor. He grabbed one more blanket from Bob's hands and we made our way to the door.

"Jo, are you gonna be okay?" Sam's voice came from the kitchen area. You could tell she had been crying.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I coughed. "I just need to rest I guess." I looked up at the group of people staring back at me as I spoke. Their eyes filled with uncertainty. "Really guys I'll be fine." I put in a quick smile at the end. Patrick put his arm around me once more.

"Sam I might stay at Jo's tonight gotta keep this little rascal safe." He smiled at his step sister. Everyone chuckled slightly but no one really had the energy anymore.

Patrick and I walked to his car and he began to drive to my house very quickly. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. I didn't realise I had been asleep until Patrick switched off the engine, came around to my side and started to carry me up to my house. He took my keys out of my handbag and carried me into the living room before setting me down on the sofa.

"Do you want me to make any tea or anything?" Patrick asked still worried.

"A hot water bottle and some tea would be lovely thank you." I replied. Once he was in the kitchen I slowly got out of my wet clothes so that I was only in my underwear and wrapped myself in both of Bob's blankets. Soon Patrick came back and passed me my hot water bottle which I quickly placed underneath my feet. He placed the tea on the table and sat down next to me. I leaned my back against his chest only to find that his clothes were still wet.

"Come upstairs I'll get you some of my dad's old clothes instead of these wet ones." I said and we both stood up. Once we went upstairs to my parents' room I dug out some of my dad's pyjamas which he didn't wear anymore and passed them to Patrick before giving him directions to the bathroom. In the meantime, I went to my room and took my bed cover and another blanket downstairs and spread it out on the sofa and wrapping myself up once again.

"You look like a burrito." Patrick's voice came from the stairway. I laughed slightly my eyes closing from exhaustion. Patrick came around, sat next to me and pulled me into him once again. This time my face met with a comfortable feeling of cotton and I leaned into Patrick's warmth. He took a large blanket which I left for him on the floor and covered both of us with it.

"It shouldn't have happened." I heard Patrick say very silently, almost not loud enough for me to be able to hear.

"It wasn't your fault, Patrick." I looked up at him. His eyes were closed. His expression unreadable. His forehead wrinkled slightly as he pinched the bridge of his nose. I could tell he had been thinking about what had happened too much. I really didn't and couldn't blame him for what happened.

"I shouldn't have thrown you into the pool. I shouldn't have even thought of the idea." There was so much regret in his voice. So much doubt.

"Patrick. I was completely high and drunk. You couldn't have known I wouldn't be able to breathe properly once I was in the water. It wasn't your fault, eventually I would have jumped in or something and there was no way of knowing this would've happened. Anyway I am fine now, it's all fine, and I'm alright. Just relax." I said staring up at him.

"Okay. I'm sorry." He stroked my hair and then my cheek. The slight spark of heat caused by his touch on my face was not strange. It was comforting. I moved my head up slightly and wriggled my arms out of my cocoon and used them to pull Patrick down to my level by his shirt and give him a quick, soft kiss on the lips. It was more of a kiss shared between friends but a kiss nonetheless. I couldn't forget the slight attraction I felt to this guy.

"Shh... Sleep now." I said and muzzled my head into his chest. I turned to lie on my side and Patrick put his arm around my back to hold me up. He started to hum a song which I couldn't make out as I was already drifting away into sleep.

I didn't know what to make of what had happened. I guess I hadn't actually accepted what happened yet. I almost drowned. Almost. I was just a step away from death. But I was safe now. I felt safe in Patrick's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**I am so sorry I haven't updated in ages, please forgive me! I didn't like writing this one to be honest so that's also why I didn't write it sooner. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews and the favourites and follows, you guys are wonderful **** Please tell me what you thought of this chapter, I wasn't sure about it much xoxo**

Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

I slammed my alarm with frustration. _Here comes the first day at a new school…great. _I guess you could say that I really wasn't looking forward to today.

I was not a big fan of school and the whole education thing.

Waking up before 12... I mean, WHY?

I'm also not a huge fan of seeing or interacting with people I don't know or don't like.

Those were my three reasons which made me beg my parents to let me spend one more day at home. However the devil, who calls herself my mother, said, "No. You're going, you've spent most of the time at home since we've moved and that's been long enough to get settled and get used to living in the area."

Seriously? She moves me across the freaking country and she won't even give me one day to mentally prepare for hell.

Anyway, I got dressed in some casual clothes because thankfully this school didn't have a specific dress code or a uniform. That was probably the only good thing. I slipped on some dark jeans, a short sleeve green t-shirt and zipped up my gray hoodie as I made my way into the kitchen.

Luckily my parents left for work before I left for school so I didn't get criticised on my choice of clothing and avoiding the usual, "You're going to wear _that_?" from my mother. My dad usually didn't really care what I wore as long as I didn't dress like a hooker - which I didn't.

I threw some bread into the toaster and took a quick glance at the large clock on the wall which stated: 7:46. I had about 20 minutes before Patrick was meant to pick me up like he said he would.

I was lying on the sofa eating my bread and slowly falling back to sleep when a car honked outside and pulled me out of my dreamlike state. I switched the TV off and grabbed my keys and my back pack before throwing on my black leather jacket, opening the door and stepping out. From my door I could already see Patrick's grinning expression as I made my way towards his car.

"Hey there, stranger." He greeted me.

"Ugh, let's just get to that hell hole." I slumped in my seat, put my seatbelt on and closed my eyes leaning my head against the window.

"Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed today" His voice still happy and unaffected by my tired response."

"Someone's bed is actually by the wall so they can only get out of bed on one side"

"I think we've got time to pick up some coffee before school starts if you want." This caused me to sit up. Finally something good about this morning.

"Thank God, let's go. Please."

Fortunately the ride was short and as I was too lazy to get out of the car Patrick went into a small coffee shop and got us both a vanilla latte which would hopefully wake me up at least slightly.

As we drove into the school parking space I noticed that a lot of the cars were very stereotypically jock and cheerleader type of cars, and if they weren't these then they were very plain and grey. This caused Patrick's car to stand out which I guess wouldn't have been different with him among the other students at the school.

Patrick came with me to the office so that I could collect my schedule and as soon as I got it he helped me find my first class. We said some quick goodbyes as he wished me luck in 'entering the big world' and planned to meet in the cafeteria at lunch.

Due to mine and Patrick's little coffee stop I was the last one to get to the class even though school hadn't started yet. I walked in to see football players sitting on the desks as the cheerleaders twirled their perfect blonde locks around their fingers to attract their attention.

Luckily before anybody had the chance to try and introduce themselves or talk to me the teachers came in with a stack of papers in his hands. I didn't see why he had so many papers to grade already; it was only the first day back. Once he noticed me standing awkwardly at the door he announced, "Everyone, we have a new student joining us this year. This is-" He looked at me questioningly to finish his sentence.

"Jo. Jo Harvelle." I said quickly.

"Alright. Well this is Jo, guys. Jo, why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"

Out of all the things a teacher could ask a student to do I hated this the most. Introducing yourself to a group of people who had no care in the world to know your name at all was quite the most stupid idea. I'm not sure whether the teacher realised this or not but he must have thought everyone looked interested because they were looking in my direction. However, I knew this wasn't because they were interested in what I was saying. It was because I was new.

"Umm… My name is Joanna, Jo for short. I'm 17 and I just moved here from California with my parents." I said quickly.

"Okay, Joanna, why don't you go take a seat?" The teacher pointed to one of the seats at the back of the classroom, away from all the popular kids, which I was really grateful for because I really didn't want to sit anywhere near them and listen to them talk about all the recent trends and the football scores of their favourite teams.

Soon the teacher began going through some pointless notices of clubs and activities to join in school which were mainly sport which I was not interested in. Luckily the bell soon rang managing to cut him off and I left the class without waiting for any sort of dismiss from the teacher. That's when I realised I didn't even know his name…

My first class I didn't have with anyone I knew. However I had second and third lesson that day with Sam which was nice. We sat silently in our Religious Studies class as the old man at the front droned on about the different beliefs of religions on war. My eyes were pretty much closing the whole time. In the end, the bell for lunch rang. I left class and accidentally bumped into Charlie who was nice enough to guide me to the cafeteria where we both sat with Patrick, Sam and the rest of the crew.

Lunch went smoothly. We ate, we talked, and we laughed. I managed to get some work done so that I didn't have to do as much at home because I planned to get more sleep and maybe just watch a movie. However this was interrupted by a 6 foot tall jock in a varsity jacket.

Now, at this point I should probably say that I am generally a calm person with a quite 'I don't care' character thing going on. But that's only because I am generally indifferent to things people may say to me to try and cause some sort of distraught and drama. I don't like it when people choose to insult my friends.

"I see you've added another freak to your fag group."

Patrick went red in the face. This got me to remember the time he had told me how his ex-boyfriend's friends beat him up.

"What's it to you?" I said looking up at him. I don't think he really expected me to say anything. My eyes narrowed as I examined the muscular piece of meat that stood before me. If I had to differentiate between this guy and all the other guys on the football team, I would simply not be able to. Same attitude, same character, same stupidity. The only thing they don't have in common would probably be their hair which was all styled differently which I noticed was the case at their table.

"It's absolutely nothing to me." He sneered and crossed his arms. He just looked at our table with his judging little eyes that probably burnt into his skull when he got asked to read in class.

"Then please why don't you kindly remove your presence so that we don't have to suffer any longer?" I said. I could tell he was shocked that I had said that and since there was no one there to back him up he didn't say anything. He straightened his posture as I began to wave before turning my hand at the wrist and showing him a rude and obscene gesture.

"And this is how you make friends in high school." Mary Elizabeth clapped slowly as everyone joined into laughter. The rest of lunch was fine. After lunch I had two more lessons which went by agonisingly slowly but once school was over I rushed out of the building and found Patrick's car at the school car park. It took him some time to arrive.

"Are Sam and Charlie coming?" I asked. I wasn't sure if maybe that's what they did the year before so I just made sure.

"No, they're going to the diner to 'study'." He inserted the finger gestures as he said the word 'study' and I laughed at his assumption. I thought it was really nice that Patrick was alright with Sam and Charlie dating. I think, if it were me, I would find it quite weird at first, my best friend and step sister, but I guess it would be okay to get used to.

Patrick dropped me off home and stayed for about 30 minutes before he received a phone call from his dad who said that he wanted Patrick to come to the garage because he had something for Patrick's car. After Patrick left I changed into my pyjamas and had dinner. I was in bed before my parents got home and tried to slowly fall asleep so that the next day I wouldn't drop dead in any of my classes.

I thought about how maybe this school won't be so bad. Well, it won't be bad as long as I have these great friends around. I really wished Patrick didn't have to be reminded of what happened to him last year. I hoped that eventually it wouldn't hurt him any more to be reminded of it, of Brad. Hoped he would meet someone who can help him get over it.


	7. Chapter 7

It's been almost a month since school started and I miraculously managed to get used to getting up at 7. Luckily, it was finally the weekend. Patrick and I made plans to go out to the cinema tonight because he wanted to see a new movie which had just come out. Once again, he told me he'd pick me up from my house. It was getting close to 7 o'clock when I heard his car. At the time my mom and I were having some tea and I managed to steal a cookie from the cupboard. Naturally, I placed my cup into the dishwasher and starting to put my jacket on when she stopped me.

"Where do you think you're going at this time?" she enquired.

"To the cinema with Patrick. I'll be back before 10"

"Why don't I know about this? You know how I feel about you going out late!" her voice rose. I knew exactly where this argument was heading and it wasn't gonna be pretty.

"Mom, I asked you yesterday after dinner whether I can go and you said that I can…"

"You never told me that you would be getting back so late!"

"You didn't ask! Plus, I'm gonna be with Patrick the whole time, nothing's gonna happen."

"Really?! How can you be sure?" she was really getting angry now. I get that she was worried but I don't think she took into account the fact that this wasn't California.

"Mom, you're overreacting." I said simply.

"I'm not overreacting! I just don't want a repeat of what happened in California!" I knew it was about this. She's already told me millions of times that I should be more careful out, and I always was. She wasn't the one who was majorly affected that night. She wasn't the victim! I was!

"Well moving me half across the country obviously didn't help now, did it?"

"I did that for your own protection and you know that!" She was full on rage.

"It's not like whoever did that to me is going to follow me all the way here just to finish what they started!"

"Do you know how scared I was when the police called me telling me that you were in the hospital, Joanna? I was terrified! How would you react if someone called you telling you that your only daughter was attacked? I was not going to let you stay in that place and allow those monsters to come for you!"

My mom was crying. I couldn't believe this. Never in my 17 years of existence have I ever seen my mother cry. This was surreal. My words were stuck in my throat as I stood in front of her speechless. My eyes fell towards the ground and I tried to keep tears from escaping. I couldn't face her like this.

I wasn't used to seeing her so fragile, she was always the strong one of the family. She was the one who spoke to the doctors when I lay on the hospital bed. Not my dad. My dad refused to leave my side. He was the one who held my hand in a tight grip when I woke up.

"I can't do this. I'll stay over at Patrick's tonight, mom. I'm sorry I just can't."

And with that I left. I hurried towards Patrick's car and quickly got it.

"Hey, you alright? You took your time." He smiled one of those kind Patrick smiles.

"Let's just go." I said not facing him. One look at me and he would know exactly what's wrong so I added a hurried please at the end.

We drove for at least ten minutes in silence. That's when Patrick decided to put on some music. The lovely sound of Never Shout Never filled the car and one single, cold tear fell from my eye. I tried to wipe it discreetly yet Patrick noticed this but decided not to say anything. And I was quite grateful for this. Soon he pulled up near a park. This confused me, for obvious reasons.

"Why did we stop here?"

"Well I thought that this would be more appropriate given the situation." He said calmly. I guess it was easy to notice that something was wrong.

"There's a nice coffee shop across the street and we can sit up on the hill. I've got some blankets in the back of the car." He continued.

"Why do you have blankets in the back of the car?"

"I forgot to return them to Bob." He said as he took them out. "Come on; let's get some food and coffee." He put his arm around me and I leaned into him as he guided me towards the small shop. Once inside we ordered some coffee to take away as well as some cake and other food which we took to the park.

Patrick decided to fold one of the blankets so that we wouldn't feel the cold coming from the ground and sat on it as I placed the food on the edge which wasn't taken by him. However, with his long legs and him stretching out there was barely any space left for me so I walked around to sit in his lap. We then took the other blanket and luckily it was larger than the other therefore covering both of us and providing us with warmth.

We then took held our drinks in our hands to somehow warm them up even slightly. The semi-comfortable silence was then disrupted by Patrick.

"So what happened?" He looked at me with the same concerned look I saw after the pool incident.

"My mom and I got into a fight. "I said. I sipped on my coffee for a while before Patrick asked again.

"How come?" The worry didn't leave his voice.

And that's when I broke down.

Patrick pulled me into a tight embrace as I sobbed into his chest. He didn't say anything. He just hugged me and gently rubbed my back. We sat like this until I calmed down.

"You don't know the real reason I moved here." His embrace on me didn't loosen. He still held me with the same support which made it a lot more comfortable to speak.

"I was attacked."

He stiffened slightly. I could feel him pull me closer and his other hand went around me too. He pulled the blanket closer so that my whole body was engulfed in the wool material.

"I was just making my way home from a friend's house when a group of people, I'm guessing near our age, just attacked me. They basically dragged me into an alley and beat me up. I was also stabbed on the back of my shoulder."

I moved from him only to pull down my top from my shoulder to reveal a jagged line on the back of my shoulder. The doctors said the scar might stay with me forever but at this point who cared about the details.

"The police said it was lucky that someone actually noticed me in the alley because it was so dark. They still don't know who might have been behind it."

"Shortly after, my boyfriend broke up with me and I stopped going out. Someone always had to pick me up to and from school and I guess eventually my parents had enough and decided to move."

"My mom didn't want me to go out late because she's scared. Today was the first time I've ever seen her cry. I never knew she was so worried."

The tears started again. I didn't think I would be sharing this with anyone here. There was something about Patrick I knew I could trust. Maybe it was the fact that we've been friends from day one. Maybe my small crush was a factor. But even if I were to ignore both of these points, Patrick was an amazing, caring guy.

"Hey... Hey. It'll be alright. No one will get you here. I won't let anything happen to you, okay? I promise."

After a while I stopped crying. I didn't want to get so worked up about this again. I already did enough of mourning at the hospital.

I stretched out trying to get cherry Danish but couldn't reach it. Patrick laughed at my feeble attempt and passed it to me. Slowly we ate the rest of the food whilst talking about school and such.

My eyes slowly closed and I found myself practically lying on top of Patrick once he leaned back onto the blanket. I must have drifted off into sleep because the next thing I knew was that I was in the air. Startled I opened my eyes just to find myself in a bundle with the blanket whilst Patrick carried me to the car. Once inside I snuggled into the seat as Patrick strapped me in with the seat belt.

The next time I woke up I found myself in someone's bed. My jacket was gone and so where my shoes, leaving me in just my top and jeans. I sat up and looked around the room. It wasn't messy, that was the first thing I noticed. There was a large bookshelf filled with some great books which I could see from the bed. On the desk I guess were school books and such.

And then right next to the bed on the floor was Patrick. He looked so peaceful in the little cramped space between his large bed and the wall. I slid out from beneath the covers and crouched next to him shaking him gently by his shoulders.

"Hmmm…" He turned around onto his other side to face me. He sat up when he noticed that it was me. "Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Why didn't you just sleep in the bed?" I smiled. It was a nice gesture and all which I guess would be considered very gentlemanly but I didn't want Patrick to have to sleep on the hard floor when the other half of his bed was unoccupied. He smiled back and ran his hand through his hair as he tried to find the right words.

"Get into bed, there's enough space for both of us."

He stood up and got under the covers on the other side of the bed as I also got back in. I shuffled slightly so that my head was lying on his chest as he put his arms around me and both of us closed our eyes. His breathing slowed down and I realised he had fallen asleep. I snuggled into his chest so that I was able to hear his heartbeat. I listened to the sound of his heart as the thumps slowly lulled me to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter goes to Catface, you're so lovely, thank you for reminding me to write and I hope one day you can overcome whatever you're facing and I'm here if you need to talk :) xo**

**Guys, did you hear about MCR :'( it's the end of an era.**

**This chapter is in Patrick's POV. Enjoy.**

I woke up to the silence of my room and Jo's head resting on my chest. I smiled at the image of her peaceful expression, her lips were very slightly pulled into a tiny smile but it was still recognisable. Not wanting to wake her, I carefully slid out of bed. My bright alarm clock showed that it was only after 10 o'clock. I slipped out of the door and into the kitchen, making sure to close the door behind me in case I make any noise outside of the door. I guess it was good that I shut it because right after I turned around I somehow stood on the left leg of my pyjama bottoms and fell, face first, onto the floor.

"What the hell was that?!" Sam walked out of the kitchen and half-screamed from the bottom of the stairs. She was wearing her flowery apron which meant that she was cooking; this meant there was food right at the bottom of those stairs, which made me and my stomach very happy.

"Umm... I fell" I said. I stood up and started to make my way downstairs towards her.

"You fell?" With her eyebrows raised she looked at me with a mocking expression. Just like her to make jokes in a serious situation.

"Be serious Samantha, I could have died!" I cried hysterically as I followed her into the kitchen.

She continued to laugh as she returned to the oven to a cooking pan full of bacon.

"Aww, Sam, you made me breakfast! And bacon..." I quickly grabbed a piece from the pan and she went to smack my hand with the fork but fortunately missed. "I forgive for laughing at me tripping." I said with a mouth full of bacon.

"The breakfast was actually meant to be for Jo, I'm pretty sure you're fully capable of making your own." she said.

"She can cook, she's made dinner before. I'm pretty sure all of us, with the exception of me, are capable of making breakfast."

"Yes well, I saw how tired you brought her in last night and anyway, she looked like a mess, what happened?" her voice turned concerned.

"She got into an argument with her mom and stuff didn't end too well."

"Oh." Sam was upset by this. I understood completely why. She told me about all the times she would argue with her mom when she was with her ex-step dad, if you could call it that. Luckily, that changed and they're really close now.

"Did she say why they were arguing?" she asked her eyes still not turning to meet mine.

"Yeah but I think it would be better if I let her tell you in her own time, she was pretty reluctant to tell me."

"So what's for breakfast?" I said trying to lighten up the mood and focus on something more positive. Right after my question my stomach loudly rumbled making Sam burst into a fit of laughter.

"Hey it's not that funny. Why do you keep on laughing at me?" Then I proceeded to try and pout my lips and make my eyes bigger in hope of looking like a cute lost puppy to at least get her to slightly feel guilty about laughing.

"Patrick, please stop making that face. You may be trying to look like a puppy but it just looks as if someone drove you over." The familiar voice coming from the doorway caused me to spin around in shock.

"Joanna! I am appalled. That filthy mouth of yours tells such lies!" I said pretending to what I thought sounded like a posh British accent.

As both girls stood there standing and laughing I managed to steal another piece of bacon from the frying pan which got me a slap on the arm with a wooden spoon. Jo was wearing a pair of Sam's old pyjama bottoms and one of my sweatshirts along with my slippers which I forgot to put on when I was sneaking out of the room.

"So what did you guys do yesterday?" Sam asked, interested.

"Oh, nothing really. Just went round to a café for something to eat and had a small picnic in the park." I said simply. Jo's eyes turned to meet mine and she gave me a knowing, appreciating smile. Sam didn't seem to catch on to our little interaction and decided not to question my answer.

"Got any plans for today Jo?" Sam continued.

"Umm… no probably not." Jo gave my step-sister a friendly, but tired, smile.

"We should go somewhere. I could bring Charlie along and we could all go out. What do you guys think?" Sam grinned obviously very proud of her plans.

"I don't mind. Patrick?" Once again her shining, brown eyes turned to me. The slight sparkle caught my attention as I stared into her taking in how vibrant she looked as if she hadn't just woken up. Her blonde hair, like a halo, framing her face.

"Patrick?" This time it was Sam. Snapping me out of my thoughts immediately I began to recover myself from my hypnosis-like state.

"Yeah. Yeah sure, we should- we can do that." I replied still gathering myself.

To get myself out of this flustered situation I began to place breakfast on some plates. Everything seemed quiet for a while until I turned around to find Sam gone and Jo, with her elbow on the edge of the table, leaning her head on her palm with her eyes closed.

I placed the plate of food and cutlery in front of her, sat down and stared at her, waiting for her to wake up. After a while, as anyone else would, I got bored and decided to poke her on the nose with my fork. Just as I was about to press the fork down on Jo's nose her eyes flew open and her chair tilted back. She tried to grab hold of anything to steady herself, as well as the chair, and luckily managed to hold on to the table before falling.

I stood up obviously in case if she had fallen so that I would be able to help her up but I guess she was alright. I turned around and let out a quiet chuckle being cautious not to let her see me laugh.

"You okay there?" I said with a big smile on my face.

"Don't say anything Patrick. Why were you going to stab me with your fork, may I ask? And my nose too. Actually, you know what, don't answer that." She smiled, understanding my strange humour however not being able to see what I found so hilarious about the actions I was about to take just then.

We ate breakfast with only a small amount of food being thrown, leaving a barely noticeable mess in the kitchen. Barely noticeable to a blind person…

Soon Sam came to the kitchen not seeming surprised at the state of the kitchen if though we did try to clean up. Well Jo cleaned a bit anyway. After Sam told us that Charlie is going to pick us up in 20 minutes, Jo and I hurried back upstairs to the bedroom to grab our stuff, racing to see who would get to the bathroom first. Unfortunately I somehow lost that race.

"Jo, hurry up, I need to fix my hair!" I shouted and banged my fist against the bathroom door.

"Okay, drama queen, I'm coming out! It's not like the paparazzi is stalking you or anything."

"Well it's not like you know about me leading a secret rock star life so you never know, Joanna." I gave her a smirk as she proceeded to walk out of the bathroom.

"Oh shut up, you." She smiled back.

Once in front of the large mirror I ran my fingers through my hair a couple times to get rid of the knots left by my hair comb and used some hair spray to hold it up after slightly styling it. Not too much of course, I knew my limits.

Once Charlie arrived we all got into his dad's car as he drove us to the cinema. Through the next few hours Charlie and Sam did the couple lovey-dovey things whilst Jo and I mimicked them in an exaggerated manner however leaving out the kissing.

After the movie Jo said she had to go home before her mom left for work so Charlie drove us to her house where I walked her to her door.

"If anything else goes on between you and your mom or anyone else you can always stay over at mine again, alright?" I said facing her as we stood outside her house.

"I know Patrick, thank you for everything." She was only a little shorter than me but still pushed herself up on her toes to hug me. Once she removed herself from my embrace she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and walked inside before flashing me a quick, tiny smile. I returned her smile and walked back to the car.

Charlie went home after dropping Sam and I off at home saying he had some reading to do for his English class.

Currently, Sam and I were in the middle of making dinner before the parents came back from work.

"Jo seemed to feel better today." Sam said whilst cutting up some carrots.

"Yeah, thanks for suggesting going out, I think what she needed is to get her mind off of things."

Sam put the knife down on the chopping board and turned to me, observing me, not turning back around.

"What?" I looked up at her."

"What's going on with you guys? I know you're into guys and all but what you guys have seems like more than friendship Pat, I don't want you to lead her on." She said. I sighed. Not with frustration or irritation, just because she asked me the question I've been asking myself for ages.

"Sam, I don't know. I mean, I don't think I like girls. But Jo… She's just different. And don't ask me to explain it because I can't. Maybe I'm still looking for someone to replace Brad. Maybe something is going on with us. At the moment, I don't know and until I actually know what's going on, I won't be able to tell you."

"So, do you maybe like her?"

"I don't know Sam. I think I might…"


	9. Chapter 9

Once again Patrick and I decided to get a quick cup of coffee before school just like we did almost every Monday. However we didn't expect to be met with the large amount of traffic on the way back. Why we risked being late to school every Monday for a cup of coffee when I could just make some at home? I don't know but we enjoyed getting our morning coffee together.

We jogged into the school. Coffee in our hands, we rushed in, hoping we weren't too late. Running late because you wanted to get coffee probably wasn't the best excuse to use at school. Luckily I made it to first period only slightly after the bell, disposing of my coffee cup before the teacher noticed.

The lesson finished and I felt more revived since I spent most of it with my eyes closed. The teacher, being too tired to care just told us to read from the books and answer some questions, which we could also do at home. As usual, Patrick met me outside class to go to chemistry together.

"Made it in time?" He smiled.

"Just. It amazes me how that teacher never really cares that I'm late almost every week."

"If only I was so lucky. I've got a detention after school, half an hour. This is only because that guy hates me ever since I did an expression of him last year. No humour in old miserable people I tell you. " He sighed and ran a hand through his hair with frustration. I laughed slightly at his misfortune.

"Why did you take the class again then, if you didn't like the teacher?"

"I just like annoying the old man." He flashed his cheeky grin.

"Can we stop by my locker?" I asked as we began to slowly venture through the crowds which now filled the halls.

"Sure."

Slowly we pushed through the crowds of people, finally reaching the small corridor where my locker was placed. Patrick decided to wait for me by the door to the hall which led to our next class as I ran up to my plain, blue locker.

I put in my combination and the locker door moved open just as a small white envelope fell out. I picked it up and placed it in the pocket of my jacket, not know what it was or who it could be from. Quickly taking out the books I needed for the day, I joined Patrick as we walked into class. Everyone was already sat down so we took our designated seats which unfortunately were not very near each other.

I sat in my chair, in the left corner at the back of the classroom next to a geeky looking guy named Nick, whom I'd been partners with since the beginning of the year. He turned to me and smiled, too happily, as I sat down.

"Hi, Jo." He mumbled.

"Hey, Nick." I replied not really in a cheerful, conversational tone. Nick was an alright guy. Aside from the fact that he liked school and I didn't we had quite a lot in common. Occasionally, when we weren't getting on with work, we would talk about music or books. He was quite charming really. He had lovely blue eyes and sandy blonde hair which, if he chose to show it, any girl would fall for.

"How have you been?" He carried on, not noticing the fact that I was trying to actually pay attention to whatever the teacher was saying in the slightest hope of not failing chemistry.

"I've been good."

The teacher then told us to gather the equipment we needed for some kind of experiment. This gave me some time alone as Nick left to get everything.

I slid my hand into my pocket taking out the envelope. It was a plain, white envelope with no significance. I opened it to find a white piece of card. I took the card out of the envelope.

'_Hi Beautiful'_

The black ink on the white paper made me laugh. This was obviously one of Brad's little jokes. I shoved the piece of card back into my pocket and focused on getting the experiment done with Nick.

"So, do you umm… maybe have... any… plans this weekend?" Nick blurted out.

Before I was able to say anything the bell rang and I mumbled something about not hearing him properly and having to leave quickly. On my way out I grabbed Patrick's sleeve dragging him out of the classroom before anyone else got a chance to leave.

"Has Nicholas been laying his moves on you again?" Patrick always laughed at how Nick tried to ask me to go out with him some time and how I managed to avoid it every time. The guy just didn't understand I wasn't interested and every time I couldn't even begin to tell him no because of how awkward I felt.

It wasn't that he wasn't good looking or anything, he was. The only reason he probably wasn't one of the 'cool' kids was because he chose to hide himself behind his nerdy glasses and his love for learning and books.

"Leave poor Nick alone."

"Gotta give the guy some cookie points for trying… for the sixth time." Patrick burst out laughing. He really got too much entertainment from this.

After third and fourth period I made my way to lunch, anxious to ask Brad about the note he left in my locker. I entered the cafeteria and made my way towards our table.

"Hey, Brad, I got your lovely note." I said with a smile as well as some sarcasm. Taking out the note from my pocket I gently threw it on the table in front of him.

"I didn't leave a note in your locker." He said opening it. I took a seat between Sam and Patrick.

"Sure and I'm the queen of England."

"I'm serious Jo. If I were to leave a note in your locket it would be a lot more creative than '_Hi Beautiful'. _It's too boring for me." He said putting a forkful of food in his mouth.

Charlie grabbed the note from the table and examined it. "If Brad didn't, then who did?" he asked.

"Maybe it's Nicholas. I mean you never know." He nudged me in the side with his elbow with an amused expression.

"Please, Nick's writing is more of a scribble than actual words." I said taking the note back and examining it. There was nothing on it except for the two words. Maybe this was Nick. I mean, who knew what that guy got up to in his spare time?

Changing the subject I ate my lunch and joined various conversations at the table. And the matter of the note was once again not important. At the end of lunch I agreed with Patrick to meet him at his car after his detention and then left to go to my lesson.

"Please open your textbooks on page 221." The short woman at the front instructed. I took the textbook out of my bag and began to flip through the pages trying to find page 221 just as a white envelope, the same as the previous one, fell out. I opened it slowly and pulled out the white card from the inside.

'_I'm sorry_'

At this point I was both annoyed and confused. Either Nick was being a stalker or someone decided to break into my locker and place both of these notes just to play a joke and freak me out. And '_I'm sorry'_? Why sorry?

I tore through both of the pieces of card multiple times and threw them into the bin. Ignoring the constant thought of worry in my head I tried to forget about the stupid joke someone had played on me. That's what it was: stupid. So why did I have this nagging feeling that there was more to it?

Trying to forget about the whole thing I turned my attention to the textbook which made no sense to me as words and letters jumped around the pages making it impossible to focus. Who would leave these notes for me?

I copied the information the teacher wrote on the board into my notepad. I answered the questions from the board and discussed the subjects with the people on my table. What if it wasn't actually meant for me? What if someone got the locker wrong?

My last lesson was fairly similar. I tried to focus and my mind went elsewhere. Eventually I managed to convince myself that the notes weren't meant for me and were also a stupid prank from some asshole at the school.

After lessons finished I moved outside the mass of people which were leaving to go home and sat on a bench in front of the school.

"Jo! There you are I've been meaning to ask you something."

The voice coming from the school entrance caused me to take a sharp breath and roll my eyes before I turned to face him.

"Hi Nick." I said reluctantly.

"Would you like to go out to dinner with me some time?" He said almost too quickly for me to understand. I sighed. This has dragged on for too long now.

"Listen Nick I… don't take this the wrong way but I'm just not looking for anything right now and I don't really want to lead you on any more than I already have" I said slowly making sure he understood.

"I know. I get it. You've just moved here and everything but come on. Give a guy a chance, one date wouldn't hurt, what do you say?"

"Fine. Alright. But if I don't want to carry this date thing on then we can still be friends right?"

"Of course, it's just a date, nothing serious. Is this weekend good for you?" The smile he had on caused me to smile too.

"Saturday would be great."

"I'll pick you up at 5 then. I gotta go but see you tomorrow."

"See you. Just tell me what we're doing in advance so I know how to dress." I shouted at him as he walked away, thinking about how stupid I sounded asking him about what clothes to wear. He turned around and showed me thumbs up before waving and getting into his car.

I smiled at the thought of final getting this situation under control. And then I thought of how much of a laugh Patrick is going to have once he finds out about this. Seeing as I had about 20minutes before Patrick showed up I decided to get some work done. I shuffled through my bag trying to find my notebook which I realised I had unfortunately left in my locker.

I got up, gathered my stuff from the bench and started to walk back into the school. Walking through the halls without passing many people felt weird for me. Occasionally I passed an odd student or two who I assumed had detention or had to stay behind. Silently, I cursed whoever placed my locker on the other end of the school, furthest away from the entrance.

Once reaching my locker I fumbled with the lock as the combination wouldn't click into place. After wasting about 5 minutes of my time I yanked on the locker and opened the door. My book was there. But so was something else. Another one.

I tore through the flap of the envelope pulling the piece of card once again as a feeling of déjà vu filled me for the second time today. Another stupid note. Another prank.

'_I've missed you'_

My eyes widened. This note startled me the most. Next to me someone cleared their throat and I shut my locker with a loud push to see who it was. As my eyes took in the image of the person who stood in front of me, I dropped my bag as the contents of it emptied out onto the floor. For a second I couldn't breathe; couldn't find my voice.

"Will?"


	10. Chapter 10

**To Catface: Don't be sorry, I love your reviews :) You should make an account on here so we could message instead if you'd like x**

**This is a flashback chapter so sorry if things get a little confusing but it should kind of be explained by the end. I really enjoyed writing this one :)**

_5 months earlier…_

"Come on Jo please just get this one, you look great in it."

I looked at the black dress I was currently trying on in one of the millions of shops we've already been in. It finished just above the knee and was almost like a pencil dress however it flared, only slightly, at the bottom. The dress was quite comfortable and very pretty at the same time, and it's not like I needed an amazing dress for my 17th birthday, it was just a party.

A couple of my friends decided to throw me a huge party for my birthday seeing as last year my parents did that and it was the most boring party ever. Imagine formal wear and a small orchestra which played dull music for most of the night. The evening consisted of me greeting various relatives I didn't even know I had and listening to them make speeches about me which mainly consisted of the words "I can't believe she's already so grown up."

So this year my friends decided to 'jazz it up' a bit and were throwing me a party. That's why they were also taking me out dress shopping and to get my hair and all that other stuff done. I didn't mind really, it was part of their gift I guess.

Once I bought the dress they dropped me off home to get ready and have dinner with my parents as we do each year and then my handsome boyfriend would pick me up and drive us to the party.

I entered my house with the multiple bags I had which contained all the different products and items I apparently needed to get ready.

"Jo, honey, is that you?" My mom called from the kitchen. I could smell her cooking in the air.

"Yeah mom, it's me." I called back. I dropped the bags in the corridor and walked into the kitchen where she was.

"How was shopping with the girls?" she asked, looking up from the different pots and pans she was using to cook.

"Exhausting."

"Did you get everything you needed?"

"Yep. Where's dad?" I asked. My father had been working a lot recently and it was very rare to see him at home, relaxing or watching TV. Either he would be at work or work from home which meant that he would sit in his study for hours.

"He's out at work again but he'll be back for our dinner and he left you a little something in your bedroom."

This brought a smile to my face and I immediately rushed to my room to find a large yellow envelope on my bed. I picked it up and tore it open to find a huge birthday card in the shape of a bear. The bear on the front was actually one of the care bears holding a heart in its paws.

I opened the card to find some money and a small leaflet drop out. I examined the leaflet quickly. It was for a small spa resort just outside of California which I've wanted to go to for years. In the leaflet were two tickets for a weekend at the resort.

Turning my attention back to the card I read the message my dad had written inside it.

_Happy Birthday Jo!_

_You've grown so fast._

_It seems like just yesterday I was sitting by your bed,_

_Reading Peter Pan to you as you fell asleep._

_I hope you have an amazing 17__th__ birthday_

_And I hope all your wishes come true_

_Love always, your Dad xo_

The message brought a small tear to my eye.

I put the card up by my bed and started to get ready for dinner and my party.

Once I was dressed and did my hair and make-up, I went downstairs to help my mom set up the table for dinner. During this time my dad arrived home and quickly got changed from his work clothes. Once he came down, I hugged him and thanked him for his wonderful gift. Then, they both wished me a happy birthday and we sat down to eat.

"So, what have the girls planned for you tonight, honey?" My dad asked.

"They didn't really say much but I know that there will be a party. I don't really know more than that and they've asked me to wear a dress which we bought earlier today."

"That sounds really nice. Will you be coming home or are you staying over?" My mom enquired. As always straight to the point.

"I'll probably come home, I think."

"Alright, you can ask someone to come over since neither of us will be home tonight."

"Yeah, sure."

We carried on the casual conversation for a while whilst eating dinner. My mom made my favourite dessert – raspberry sorbet with whipped cream and cherries. Soon I was done and the large clock in our kitchen chimed 7 o'clock and the doorbell rang.

"Thank you for the presents and for dinner, I'll see you guys soon."

"Bye honey, enjoy yourself." They replied.

I opened the door to find Will standing there with a large bouquet of yellow roses. We said our hello's and he gave me a quick kiss due to the fact my parents could still see us.

"These are for you. Happy birthday, sweetheart." He said.

"Thank you, Will." I replied with a large grin on my face.

"Good evening Mr and Mrs Harvelle." He said to my parents who were standing in the corridor. I gave the flowers to my mom so that she could place them in a vase.

"Good evening William, how have you been?" My dad always called my boyfriend using his full name. I guess it was one of those protective dad things.

"I've been very well, and you, sir?"

Will always made sure to address my parents in the correct manner. Our parents have probably planned our wedding knowing them; they were simply in love with the idea, especially our mothers.

"I've been very well myself, thank you. Now, you take care of our little girl tonight, alright?" My dad proceeded to try and look strict which to me only made him seem less of what he was trying to achieve.

"Of course, sir." Will replied.

"Goodnight guys, I'll see you tomorrow."

I then kissed both of my parents on the cheek and thanked them again for my presents and the lovely dinner my mom had cooked for me.

Once the door was closed Will took my hand and spun me around to face him before planting a long kiss on my lips. He leaned out only slightly and started to whisper into my ear.

"Happy birthday, Princess."

We got into his car and Will quickly drove away before filling the car with music.

We eventually pulled up by a bright house which screamed 'Party!' to anyone living within a 5-mile radius. I smiled at the various banners of 'Happy Birthday' and balloons, the already popped party poppers on the lawn.

Will got out of the car and immediately went around to my side to open my door. Smiling at his gentleman-like gesture I got out and he wrapped his hand around my waist where I laced our fingers together. We made our way towards the front door and both of us knocked loudly.

The door opened to reveal my friends, who were already tipsy, and giggling. I smiled at them before coming inside and looking around at the large crowd which turned up to the party. Most of them probably just wanted to go out and have an excuse for drinking alcohol but the large stack of presents in the main room showed me that a lot of these people I actually knew.

As soon as I greeted everyone I knew I joined the fun. I danced. I laughed. I drank, but not much. Hanna, the one who always drank the most but managed to keep her cool, was trying to convince me to do shots with her. I laughed her off and left her under the wing of a cute guy from our History class who I knew had a huge crush on her but wouldn't try anything.

Eventually it started getting late and slowly people were beginning to leave. The music was slowed and the volume turned down. People fell asleep on the couches and even on the floors.

The slow, calm song which was currently playing gave Will and I, a chance to dance how we'd prefer to in comparison to the weird grinding moves people seemed to have developed in our society. With his hands on my waist and my hands around his shoulders we slowly swayed our bodies with the music and I laid my head against his chest.

We must have been dancing for quite some time because I felt Will shaking me slightly into consciousness as he mumbled something and took me to sit down on the sofa. Unfortunately I couldn't hear what he said because I was too tired. Also, it was quite heard to hear anything, when Issy's voice ran through the whole house as she screamed at a couple she had just discovered to be making out in her bedroom.

I sat on the sofa for a while with my eyes closed before deciding that it was probably time for me to go home. I shifted my head slightly to face Hanna who was now sitting with the guy from our History class.

"Have you seen Will anywhere?"

"No sorry, I think he might have left." She replied.

I got up and walked upstairs to Issy's bedroom where I found her asleep on her bed and her shoes on the other side of the room. I took out a blanket from the cupboard and covered her with it.

Then I decided to look for Will who was meant to be dropping me home. That however didn't end well as he was nowhere to be found therefore I went outside to see if his car was still in the driveway. Of course, once again, I was disappointed to find that he had obviously left without telling me.

With a long sigh I began to walk in the direction of my house. My shoes in my hands, I walked at a brisk pace. Just for a second I stopped to take a breath and put my shoes back on when a hand covered my mouth.

I was dragged into a dark alley. A cloth was draped and tied around my eyes. Darkness consumed me. Something metal collided with my chest. A gasp. Air no longer being able to find its way into my lungs. I struggled for oxygen. It's harder to breathe. A struggling sound. I still can't see. And I'm afraid. I've very afraid. So very, very afraid.

What's happening? This can't be real. This is a dream. I passed out at the party. I am asleep. This is not real. This cannot be real.

Another hit.

Another strike.

A laugh. A cold, malicious, taunting laugh. A troubling laugh. A horrible, petrifying laugh.

Then – most unbearable of all.

It slid across my skin. Digging deeper. A liquid trickling down my back.

A short cry.

Another laugh.

Losing consciousness.

Pain.

More and more and more pain.

And again more pain.

All I feel is pain.

A sentence.

A few words.

"This should teach him."

A silence.

Some footsteps.

Another cry.

Another struggle for breath.

This can't be real.

Another injection of pain.

I cannot move.

The cloth no longer around my eyes. I still can't see. My eyes refuse to open.

A call in the dark.

Someone else.

And then nothing.

Nothing at all.


	11. Chapter 11

I decided not to tell my parents or friends that I saw Will. After all, we didn't really talk much. The rest of the week went by like a blur as my thoughts were constantly clouded and turning to Will. I hadn't seen my ex-boyfriend since he broke up with me whilst I sat helpless in the hospital bed connected to different tubes and machines. That day was one of the worst days for me. Obviously except the day of my attack but I really didn't expect Will to break things off the way he did.

_Flashback_

"_Will!" I sat up on my plain white bed, careful not to disturb any of the tubes the nurses had stuck in my arms._

"_Hi." He replied. His expression solemn and silent._

"_What's wrong?" His eyes were glued to the floor. The heartbeat monitor showed a slightly increased of heart beats per minute as I began to worry about Will's unusual behaviour._

"_Look Jo, I… I think it would be best if we would stop seeing each other."_

_He shoved his hands into his pockets and slightly tilted his head to look up at me. My eyes widened at the realisation of his words and you could hear the monitor increase another bit more._

"_You mean, you're breaking up with me?" Tears began to gather in my eyes as I sat vulnerably on the hospital bed whilst my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything tore my heart._

"_I didn't want to do this. Believe me. If I could I'd stay with you forever, princess. But I need to keep you safe. I need to be sure that something like this won't happen again."_

_Will walked to the side of my bed and crouched next to it. He took my hand into his and slowly caressed it with his thumb._

"_Why? Why, Will? Why now?" _

"_One day, I promise, I'll explain. For now, I just need you to stay away from me."_

_He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it softly before standing up again and turning to face the door. My hands trembled as I brought them up to my face to prevent the tears from falling._

"_I'm sorry."_

Those were the last words I heard from him. Until now, of course. After his surprising appearance at my locker he didn't talk much.

_Flashback_

"_Will?"_

"_Hey, princess."_

"_Will. What are you doing here? How did you know where I went? What happened?"_

"_I can't say right now. But I will explain soon like I told you. Just know you might see a little more of me in the upcoming few weeks."_

"_You broke up with me Will. Why are you here?"_

"_I missed you."_

_Out of nowhere, my right hand swung out, hitting him across the face._

_At first he stepped back from the obvious shock. However, after recovering, he took a few steps forward and placed his hands on my shoulders. _

"_You can't do this again. You can't just come here and expect me to be happy with anything you're telling me and then leave."_

_Slightly pulling me into him I took in the smell of his cologne. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before opening them again to make sure this was not a dream._

_He pulled me into a tight embrace, enveloping me in his arms. At first I tried to fight him but after finding that very pointless I slumped against him as he planted a kiss on my forehead before pulling me back and making me look into his eyes._

"_Eventually you'll know everything. Just give me time, Jo."_

_I crashed my lips against his trying to put every tint of anger in my body into the kiss. This was how our arguments usually ended when we were still together. Will would apologise and buy me some flowers and I'd run right back to him. Or in many cases the other way round._

After that Will left quickly. I didn't try to follow him since my body was still in shock and refused to move. For quite a while I sat on the cold floor of my school until I realised Patrick's detention was over.

Patrick didn't know about the incident either. After the whole thing I walked back to the car park and acted as if everything was normal. Luckily that night my parents weren't home to see how distraught I felt. Eventually of course life caught up with me as Saturday evening arrived and I was reminded of my 'date' with Nick.

I decided not to cancel for the obvious reason of not upsetting Nick once again and of course I did promise him that one date. Nick and I arranged for him to pick me up around 4-ish and go to a small amusement park a couple miles away from our town. By 3 o'clock I was ready and sat in the kitchen with a large cup of black tea in hand. Music played in the background causing me to relax only slightly.

Once I heard the car pull up I switched the radio off and left the house. Nick was waiting for me outside his car wearing light denim trousers, a dark red t-shirt and a blue checked shirt over it. Luckily recently it had been quite warm so I was able to wear some ¾ skinny jeans with a white sleeveless top and a small dark blue sweater over it.

We said our hello's and how are you's and got into the car.

In the car Nick turned his music on and I immediately cringed to the sound of the horrible music the jocks at our school listened to. Quickly pressing the 'stop' button I looked up at Nick.

"Where do you keep your music?" I asked looking around the car.

"There's a whole collection of different things in a basket behind your seat." He replied smirking slightly but without taking his eyes of the road.

I twisted my arm so that I was able to reach behind my seat. After some digging around I felt the basket and took it out and placed it on my lap. Browsing through the various CDs I took out the ones I knew and liked which was about 7 or 8 out of the 50 that were there.

"This is probably the best one you have." I said examining one of the CDs.

"What?" He asked. Shooting a quick glance at the CD I was showing him.

"Yeah that one's a really good one I think..." He continued.

"I certainly didn't take you for an Arctic Monkeys fan." I said whilst inserting the CD into the music player.

"I could say the same about you." He said laughing under his breath.

We managed to listen to about half of the CD before we arrived at our destination. The amusement park was already filled with many people. Nick parked the car and we walked to a small booth where he purchased the wristbands for the rides.

"Right. Where do you wanna go first?" He asked scanning the large park and the rides.

"I propose that we get the biggest rides over and done with first and then we can cool down with the Ferris wheel and some candy floss." I replied already eyeing the biggest roller coaster.

Unfortunately after the first three rides, Nick and I were already beginning to feel slightly nauseous due to the many spins and turns and upside downs we had to endure earlier on. We decided to go on the Ferris wheel as not many people were on it and so we'd be able to stay on for longer.

Once we got into our little carriage we leaned back and sat in a comfortable silence while enjoying the view of the night sky. Both of us had our necks tilted to look up directly at the stars above us.

"I love looking at the sky." I sighed with content.

"What is it that you love the most about it?" Nick asked.

"I guess I simply enjoy knowing that it is the only thing that not a single person on this planet can have."

"What do you mean?" He asked not understanding.

"Well, every person is looking at the same sky. That's what all of us have in common except for the fact that we're human. It's the most beautiful thing out there and yet nobody owns it."

"I see what you mean. Alright, how about this? For every question I ask you, you get to ask me one." He said turning to face me.

"Okay. Fine. What do you want to know?" I asked smiling at him.

"Why did you move here? I mean Pittsburgh is so far away from California."

"My parents have to travel a lot near here for work and they thought it would just be easier for them to travel from here and it would give them more time to spend with me."

"Huh. Okay. Your turn."

"Why do you choose to be a nerd? Not in an offensive way. But, you clearly can fit in with all those popular kids at school if you just took of the glasses and dresses like this to school." I said.

"I don't see the point in trying to be like a group of kids who try to show others that they're better than them through a made-up social hierarchy. Plus, the nerd kids are so much more interesting, you can have a proper conversation with them."

I laughed at the indirect comment Nick was making about being able to have a conversation with the jocks and cheerleaders.

"Okay, my turn now. What are you with Patrick? Whenever I see you two in the hallways you guys seem so close but you've barely known each other that long." He said.

"I guess you could say that at the moment Patrick is the closest thing I have to a best friend. I don't know we just get along really, really well."

We talked for about an hour longer whilst sitting on the Ferris wheel. The guy operating it obviously didn't mind since there were barely any people who wanted to get on. After that we got some popcorn which we ate on the ride back. Nick dropped me off at my house where he walked me to the door and we said our goodbyes and I thanked him for taking me out.

"See today wasn't so bad was it?" Nick said referring to the date.

"It was great actually, thanks." I replied.

"So what are you thinking about my little offer? You wanna do this again sometime?"

"I'll think about it." I said and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before quickly going into the house and closing the door.

I could feel my cheeks flushing red as I smiled to myself. Maybe going out with Nick wasn't such a bad idea. Maybe I can finally get over Will.

**Small question: how are you guys liking Nick and Will so far? Thank for all the reviews, follows and favourites, keep them coming ;) xo**


	12. Chapter 12

**To Catface: awww, I always look forward to your reviews :D please make an account, I need to talk to you about something to do with the story and the characters :) I'm away this weekend so if you do write I'll reply on Monday evening at the earliest xo**

**Here's Chapter 12!**

The sound of people surrounded me as I stared at my plate full of food which was placed on the table in the cafeteria. I sat with the group but didn't get involved with any of their conversations. My thoughts were still distracted by Will's appearance a couple days ago.

After my date with Nick I stayed inside not bothering with any school work or anything else of even slight importance. My parents came back in the late evening on Sunday however I stayed in my bed the whole day and when they arrived I was already asleep.

Unfortunately for me Monday droned on slowly as I sat unresponsive in my lessons, oblivious to what any of my teachers were talking about.

I began to question whether I really did see Will in the corridor that day. Whether maybe I just imagined it. In all honestly, I missed him. I missed him a lot. When he first broke up with me I got really messed up. At first I didn't really eat which worried my parents and friends since after the attack I needed to eat more to get myself back on track.

I also got rid of all the things which reminded me of him. This included the large teddy bear he once won for me at a fun fair which held a heart with 'I LOVE YOU' written on it. That was after about a year since we started dating and it was also how he told me he loves me. Will was a big romantic even though I was probably the only one who saw that side of him instead of his tough character.

Of course I never blamed Will for what happened. It's not like he could've prevented it from happening or do anything in the situation without getting hurt himself even if he was there.

"Jo!"

Patrick's voice tore through my little bubble of thoughts and I turned to face him.

"Sorry, what?" I asked not sure about what the conversation, I clearly should have listened to, was about.

"Sam wants to know if you're up for going out to the diner next weekend." Bob said with his mouth full… as always.

"I just wanted all of us to get together before Christmas comes since Patrick and I are going away." Sam filled me in.

"Umm, yeah sure, that would be fun." I replied shooting her a quick smile obviously showing how much attention I had been paying recently.

Everyone smiled at me and returned to their chatter. Everyone but Patrick.

"Jo, are you alright? You've been kind of distant lately. Is there something wrong?" He enquired. I couldn't lie to Patrick. However I didn't really feel like telling him, as well as everyone else , about Will.

"Just some stuff going on, don't worry about it." I said smiling at him.

"Come on." He said taking my hand in his and pulling me up and out of my seat.

"Where are we going?" I asked nearly tripping over my chair.

"We are leaving. Grab your stuff, let's go." Patrick said shuffling me in a friendly manner.

"Guys, if anyone asks, she was feeling sick so I took her home okay?" Patrick asked all the people who still sat at the table.

A group response of 'sure', 'yeah' and 'see ya' could be heard just as we turned from the table and started to walk out of the cafeteria, my hand still in Patrick's.

"Patrick, where are we going?" I asked again this time slightly louder so that he could hear me.

"Ditching. There's something going on with you and it's bothering you and you're telling me because I am your friend." He said smiling at me with that usual big grin of his.

"We can't just leave school because you wanna talk." I said as we reached his car in the car park and he opened the door of the passenger's seat for me. I got in as I didn't see the point of returning to school where I didn't want to be at the moment.

Patrick got into his seat, switched on the engine and began to drive out of his parking space and away from the school. I watched as the building became smaller and smaller the further we got and turned to smile at Patrick.

"Being bad feels pretty good, huh?" He said.

"Hey, don't quote The Breakfast Club to justify skipping school." I laughed.

"But you're obviously feeling slightly better already."

"Yeah, I am." I said.

We drove in a comfortable silence for some time before we reached a deserted road out of town where Patrick stopped the car.

"Are you going to kill me because if you are then this is a really uncreative way of killing? Just putting that out there."

"Sorry my master mind of homicide isn't advanced enough for you." He replied sarcastically but still laughing at my joke.

"Come on, Jo. Don't avoid the subject. What's go-?" His expression turned into one of worry and concern but I managed to cut him off in the middle of his sentence.

"So what's this thing that Sam is planning for next weekend?" I asked looking at him.

"Jo…" His voice slightly edgy as if convincing me to start talking.

"I saw him."

"Saw who?"

"Will."

"Who's Will?" he said still confused about the limited amount of information I've given him.

"Will is my ex-boyfriend."

"Oh. Wait, saw him where? Isn't he back in Cali?"

"Apparently not. Remember last week when you had detention and I waited for you? The notes I got which I thought were from Bob?"

"Wait. Notes? You only told me about one. That was from him?"

"Yeah. There were two others, the second one said 'I'm sorry' and the third 'I missed you' which I found in my locker. And then I heard a noise and he was there."

"What happened between you guys? Did he do anything to you?"

"No, no of course not this is Will you're talking about. He wouldn't hurt me, _ever."_

"Okay…" He said still not sounding very sure.

"So what happened when you saw him?" He asked keeping a constant gaze on me as if I were to disappear any second.

"He said he missed me…" A small tear left my eye but I didn't care. Patrick had already seen me at my worst when I first told him about my attack. It was weird how much I confined in him even though I've only known him for about four or five months.

"We kind of argued…Well, I did. I slapped him when he said he missed me and then we…" I broke off. Did I want to tell Patrick that Will and I kissed? Even though I kind of liked Patrick, I was putting my feelings aside since I knew what happened with him and Brad. I didn't think he'd like me, a girl, showing him affection after he's been through so much.

"And then we…?" He started my sentence where I finished off.

"I kissed him. Purely out of anger." I laughed lightly. "It's funny really because that's usually how our arguments finish. He was always the softie in the relationship. Every time we argued I'd kiss him or he'd kiss me and it would all end, you know. Old habits die hard, I guess." I finished, letting a few more tears through a little laughter.

"Jo…" Patrick's voice full of sorry for me.

"Do you still miss him? Will, I mean." He asked.

"Do you still miss Brad?"

Patrick's eyes turned to the ground and I felt a small twinge of guilt pass through me. I didn't mean to remind him of that.

"I'd be a liar if I say I didn't. It's not like I can erase him out of my memory. I haven't told anyone this but I really wish things were different." He said.

"How do you mean?" I asked, confused at his statement.

"I wish his dad wasn't a homophobic twat. I wish everyone could be able to show that they love someone no matter what their gender, race, colour… All those things."

"I wish people weren't so hateful towards things they didn't understand." I said sighing quietly. I didn't realise Patrick felt this way. Surely he had some kind of resentful feelings towards Brad's father but I didn't know he held those feelings for others as well.

I wish could somehow take away all the pain from the world, all the hurt caused by people to each other and bury it deep inside me so that I could make sure that it never comes out.

"I guess it's stupid really, but they say that sometimes people need closure. I guess we just hadn't gotten ours yet."

"One day all of us will get the closure that we need. Some just need to wait longer than others." He said looking out the window.

"I know. I just didn't think he would ever do that to me." I sighed slumping into the chair crying a little bit more.

Patrick leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his lap. I rested my head against his chest, similarly to like I had done some time ago, and closed my eyes.

"Shh…It'll be okay, Jo." He whispered softly. I looked up at him, looking into his eyes.

"How do you know? How could anyone possibly know if anything is ever going to be okay?"

I only then realised how close my lips were to his. How I could feel his breath on me and how he could feel my breath on him. The intimacy of the situation didn't scare me. I didn't mind it.

"We can't ever be sure. But I know that as long as we have each other, we'll get through this and any other obstacles that come our way." He said.

Slowly, he used his hands to wipe my wet cheeks so that all the tears were gone. I smiled at him, an appreciative smile.

The next thing I felt were Patrick's lips on mine. The familiar Patrick smell wrapped around me. One of his hands was on my waist and the other on my back. My hands were in his hair as I kissed him back just like I had wanted to so many times. I could tell this could be the beginning of something unexpected.

Unfortunately, before the moment could really start, it was over. Patrick pulled away from me and looked at me with a confused expression.

"I can't do this, Jo. I'm sorry. I…I'm supposed to be gay. I don't understand. I just need you to give me some time to understand what's going on with me. " He continued and I slid off his lap and back into the passenger's seat.

"I know, Patrick. I'm sorry. I'll give you all the time you need."


	13. Chapter 13

Jeans or skirt? I hated choosing my outfit whenever I went out anywhere. Especially for this since it was the last time I was gonna go out with Patrick and the group before his and Sam's New Year's party. Next week we were going to carry out Sam's Christmas present tradition which I had been filled in about but we were going to wait until tonight to pick who we were getting the presents for.

I decided on the jeans with a nice pair of black heels as time to leave came close. This time it was Sam and Charlie picking me up to drive to the diner because Patrick had a few errands to run and had to sort out the hat and names for the presents.

I walked downstairs from my room to find my parents in the living room having some pie on the sofa.

"Guys! Pie?" I asked. My love for pie was unquenchable.

"I thought you were going to the diner with your friends, there's one last slice in the kitchen if you want though." My mom said. Despite my better judgement I did have the last piece of pie just before a car honk was heard outside the house and a quick goodbye was thrown behind me as I left the house.

Soon after I found myself in Charlie's new car with Sam riding shotgun and me in the backseat. Oh the joys of the third wheel.

"Patrick's got everything ready and he's on his way but he might be a bit late." Sam said turning to face me.

"That's alright, so who else was able to come? I know Bob said something about going away early."

"Oh no, he'll be there. His dad told him something about keeping up his attendance record at least satisfactory if he doesn't want to be moved to some kind of reforming boarding school." Sam replied. "Beside him, Mary Elizabeth and Peter if they are, surprisingly, still together. And Alice, us and Patrick."

"I heard you already ditched school, Jo." Charlie's voice stated.

I smiled or laughed slightly. "Yeah, Patrick's decision really."

"Any reason or just pure boredom?" He enquired again.

"A reason, just one I don't exactly want to talk about today if that's okay."

"No, of course, no pressure."

The drive was less than short after that and we arrived at the diner where we saw Mary Elizabeth and Alice going in just as we pulled into the car park.

The three of us left the car and followed shortly behind, claiming our seats at the table they chose to sit at. Small talk filled the table as we waited for the rest of the group to arrive. Bob joined as no longer than 5 minutes later but Patrick took another 10 after him. Patrick was for some reason wearing a strange hat.

"Someone's late." I said as Patrick took his seat next to me.

"It takes time to look this good you know." He replied laughing.

"Right, first thing's first. Food." Bob said as he took a menu, scanned it quickly and called the waitress over. Apparently it took him less than 10 seconds to know his order. The rest of us somehow managed to make our minds up quickly so the waitress didn't have to come back too many times.

Our food arrived pretty quickly and everyone began to slowly eat when Patrick took of his hat and placed some folded cards with our names on them into the hat. He then passed the hat around and everyone took a folded piece of card. The hat came back to Patrick and he took the last card before placing the hat back on the top of his head.

Everyone held the little cards in their hands as Sam counted down ,"3,2,1…" and we all opened our cards to see whose name is written inside.

_Sam_

I looked up at the person whose name the little card had been written inside only to find her sneaking a secret glance at her boyfriend who I'm assuming was the lucky person she will be getting some presents for.

"Psst." I turned my head my right where Patrick was sitting.

"Yeah?"

"Who do you have?" He asked still half-whispering so that only I would hear him.

"If I tell you, will you tell me?" I whispered back.

"Sure."

"Well then in that case, I've got Alice." I said.

"Thanks for telling me."

"Who do you have?" I asked him back.

"I can't tell you, it's against the rules." He said smirking.

"I told you."

"Sorry, love. Sometimes you have to lie to get the information you need."

"Thanks for the advice but I already used it when I lied to you about who I have. Sorry, _love._" I said smirking back at him and the smile which was just wiped off his face. The rest of the table who apparently did hear us, was currently sniggering and laughing at poor Patrick's expression of beating beaten at his own game. And then Mary Elizabeth said something to Bob which made him laugh at Patrick even more.

"Hey Mary, where's your boyfriend tonight?" This was Patrick's only defence against her and unfortunately for him, it sucked ass.

"If you must know it didn't work out and both of us have moved on so be quiet." She said narrowing her eyes at him a little.

"Charlie, man, you owe me 5 bucks." Patrick said. Charlie then dug out his wallet from his pocket and gave Patrick the owed money.

"I can't believe you guys bet on how long my relationship lasts. Jerks." Nobody really said anything about the subject we just laughed it off which caused Mary Elizabeth to crack a small smile and join into the laughter too.

"Hey Patrick, isn't that Brad?" Bob suddenly said, causing Patrick to look where Bob was pointing. It was clear to everyone at the table that Brad wasn't alone. And it didn't look like a friend outing but more of a date. Sam turned her head back around to Patrick just as quickly as she turned around to look at Brad. I saw her eyes fill with concern. Patrick may not have filled me much in about whatever really happened with Brad but I was pretty sure it wasn't nice.

"Are you gonna be alright Patrick? We can go someplace else if you want." Sam said to him.

"No, no. I'll be fine. Let's just pretend nothing happened and continue with our lovely evening." He even forced an almost believable smile.

Conversation resumed and Patrick tried to join in as much as possible to distract himself from thinking about and looking at Brad. I stood up, "Excuse me; I'm going to the Ladies room." I look at Sam and shifted my head as if to say '_Come with me_'. Luckily, Sam caught on. "I'll go as well."

Once in the toilets I was hoping to ask Sam about whatever happened between Patrick and Brad.

"Jo, I know what you want to know but I can't tell you everything."

"I know. I just want to know the basic outline of what happened between him and Brad. Anything details you can leave out I just need to know."

"You know that Patrick and Brad dated in secret last year. Well, Brad's dad caught them once and things didn't end well for Brad since his dad is quite violent. A few weeks after that the guy who Brad is with, tripped Patrick up in the cafeteria. I'm not sure what went on between Patrick and Brad but Brad's apes including Brad were punching and kicking him until Charlie stepped in."

"Charlie?"

"Believe it or not, he's got a couple tricks up his sleeve."

"Wow. So how come Brad is out with this guy now? What about his dad?"

"Rumour says that Brad's parents split up and his dad moved somewhere. Nobody knows why but even before Patrick knew some stuff about Brad's parents arguing about things and I guess their perfect son turning out to be gay was the final string." She said.

"Thank you for telling me, Sam."

"It's okay. Just look after him." She asked.

"I will. I promise."

We then left the toilets and returned to our seats. Patrick and I joked around. Charlie and Sam were romantic. Mary Elizabeth and Alice gossiped. Bob messed around. We then ordered dessert. Most of the orders consisted of ice cream despite it being the coldest season of the year.

Suddenly Patrick stood up. Out of nowhere he began to gather his things and started to leave. "I can't do this, I'm sorry." Just before he walked out the door I noticed a tiny drop of water leave his left eye when he turned away from a look in Brad's direction.

I looked to where Brad and his 'friend' were sitting only to see the two share a kiss at the table.

"I'm gonna go after him. You guys stay." I said putting my coat on and grabbing my bag before leaving. Mine and Patrick's distraught departure brought some attention from the other people at the diner and I was lucky enough to be able to catch Brad's eye to give him one of the worst glares I could manage.

I jogged to Patrick's car of which engine was being turned on and slid into the passenger's seat. Patrick sat with his head on the steering wheel and his hand holding the key to the engine with some tears flowing freely down his face.

"Patrick." I say softly to get his attention.

"This isn't how everything was meant to turn out." He says. He doesn't move. He doesn't shift his eyes towards me; he just stays still and speaks.

"Nobody was meant to find out and nothing was meant to get so screwed up. I don't understand why this had to happen."

"Patrick, you couldn't do anything to stop it. How could you have known that his dad was gonna come in and see you? There wasn't anything you could do."

"So many times I wished that we could just be accepted and so many times I've replayed the scene where he would come out to his parents and I would be there to support him, you know. And his parents would accept us and they'd be happy for us. And no-one else would have mattered because we'd have each other and family and friends. But the wish didn't come true. And now I'm here with this pain in my chest and I'm the one who's stuck in the past. I'm the one who still suffers…"

Patrick's words make me feel my heart slowly break. As if I'm being suffocated with this feeling of pain which was caused to one of the people I care most about. Yet Patrick still continues, and I let him.

"You don't know how many nights I spent not being able to sleep trying to tell myself that it wasn't my fault. But in the end maybe it was."

Abruptly, the car was in motion. For some reason the wheels were turning and only then I realised that Patrick was stepping on the gas. And not lightly. He pressed it with enough force to get us out of the car park and away from the diner in less than 5 seconds.

Patrick still had tears flowing down his tear-stained face and from what I could see, they were blurring his view. And he was driving.

"Patrick, stop. Pull over. We can talk about this. You're not acting rationally, just slow down."

"All this time it's been my fault Jo. My fault! Maybe if I wasn't gay, maybe if I could've just fallen in love with some girl at school I could have stopped it from happening. It's my fault!"

More tears. More speed. More danger.

"It wasn't your fault Patrick. You have to believe that. It was your choice to be with Brad. Just like it was Brad's choice to be with you. He is the one who should've come out to his parents instead of hiding you around. You deserve to be paraded in front of parents; you're better than him and better than this. Please, Patrick, just stop the car."

However Patrick had no time to do that because we reached one of the main roads near the city. And we were still going at a terribly fast speed. And there was nowhere to pull over. And we couldn't stop. Patrick didn't see the lights change. Just like he didn't see the lorry come out from around the corner. Both vehicles advanced towards each other at an immense speed. There was a scream. I suppose it was mine. Patrick tried to swerve. He tried to stop the inevitable occurrence. I don't think my mind fully registered what was going on until the large vehicle crashed into the side of the car. The side I was sitting on. The pain registered for about a nanosecond before it was gone. And my mind was blank. And the light was gone.

**Sorry about that guys :) I hope to hear your opinions about this one in your reviews.**

**Catfacee, please get back to me. I've been so excited waiting for your reply :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello again. This one's from Patrick's POV. Message me or review, I love those :) Thank you to everyone reviewing, favouriting? and following too, you guys are awesome :D**

It's been two weeks. 14 days. 336 stretched hours in this sad, small hospital. As I walked around with what must have been the fifth cup of coffee I watched the people. Most of them were here because of old age illnesses and such. Since nothing really happened in our town there was no need for a big hospital and most of the patients were older or people with small injuries. I don't think anyone in this hospital experienced treating patients from a car crash because of how frantic and all over the place they were. Then again I only got to see what they were doing for a bit before I passed out.

It must have been over 5 days since I ate a proper meal and about 9 since I had more than 4 hours sleep in a night and Sam kept pestering me about it saying that I need to stay in good shape to keep in good hopes for Jo. Jo. She had it a lot worse to me. The police said the lorry hit the car from her side making her receive most of the injuries. They said that luckily for both of us the driver saw our car and managed to slow down enough not to hit us with an impact which would result in fatality. The driver of the lorry was also looked over at the hospital for injuries but was quickly checked out because he wasn't really damaged. He must have apologised to me millions of times because after time his words just because a winded noise which I couldn't understand.

Sam tried to bring me better food to the hospital because I hated the food there but I still didn't eat much of it. I wasn't allowed into Jo's room. They wouldn't let anyone go in except her family. Her parents were very affected by what happened. From what Jo has told me about her mom not wanting to see her in a hospital bed again, I'm sure both of her parents blamed me for what happened. I blamed myself too.

Jo's dad tried to talk to me. I think he blamed me less for the accident than Jo's mom did. She barely left her side. Her dad tried to assure me that everything would be fine and that she'd get out of it. That she'll wake up and everything will be back to normal. I didn't know if I could believe him.

How is it that both she and I were in the same car crash yet I come out with a broken arm, a couple cuts and bruises and she ends up in the Intensive Care Unit?

I've stayed at the hospital begging to see her ever since it happened but so far I've achieved nothing. Everyone came to see how she and I were doing. Even Nick, whom I wasn't very fond of, asked me how I was when he came to see her. Of course he couldn't see her, they wouldn't let him. Maybe they were trying to protect her from me because they thought I carry disaster with me like an illness, a disease.

"Patrick." Somebody's voice caused me to shift slightly which they now knew meant that I was listening.

"Patrick, the doctor said he might be able to tell us what's going on later today. Have you eaten yet, today?"

I didn't reply. I couldn't reply. What could the doctor tell us? In her state I seriously doubted that any good news was going to come out of that man's mouth.

"Patrick!"

"What?" I snapped. The small flash of pain in Sam's eyes resulted in guilt on my side and I immediately apologised.

"I know you're unhappy. What happened is horrible but you can't ruin yourself because of it. She wouldn't want this." She whispered the last bit making it almost impossible to hear.

"She wouldn't want to be in a hospital bed either but life sometimes gives you shit even if you're a good person." I said shifting my eyes back to the ground.

"I know. I know, but you can't beat yourself up over this. You know it wasn't your fault. It's not like you wanted to drive into that lorry, you were upset."

"Wasn't it my fault? Because that's all that I seem to be doing recently, failing the people I care about the most."

Sam took a seat next to me, put her arm around me and squeezed my shoulder in a reassuring way.

"She wouldn't blame you."

"I didn't want this for her. She shouldn't be in a hospital. Not today and not ever." I sniffled a bit.

"Come on, we're gonna get you something to eat and I brought you some clothes to change into because even though you're upset, you smell." Sam said with a little laugh in hope of bringing my mood up even slightly.

I stood up with her and grabbed the bag she held towards me and made my way towards the nearest bathroom. After changing I walked back out and we made our way towards the hospital cafeteria.

I still didn't eat much but more than I have recently. Sam and I talked a bit. She was the one who really did most of the talking but I didn't mind.

We didn't end up going away for the holidays like we were meant to. Our parents decided not to drive down to our relatives and stay but we still didn't really celebrate Christmas and I spent my day in the hospital. New Year's was also spent in here despite how much I hoped that she'd wake up to celebrate it with me.

We stayed in the cafeteria for a little longer before Charlie came to join us. He said he was with his brother who came over for Christmas break. Charlie's brother was cool. I met him before the summer when he came to visit Charlie before the summer.

After that we walked back to the corridor outside the unit where Jo was placed. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere beyond that point. I tried. Oh, I tried. Security didn't really like me at this place anymore.

Sam and Charlie left. And now it was nearly getting close to the time that her parents come visit from work. Of course, they're allowed to see her because they're family. I could've lied and said I was her brother but after the police took my report there was no way of doing that.

Soon they arrived and we greeted each other. I shook her dad's hand and nodded politely at her mother who made it clear the first time that she won't be shaking hands with the person who did this to her daughter.

Before they went to see her they signed it at the reception point and the doctor was called to see them. It took some time before he decided to make an appearance. He shook their hands like any doctor would and got straight into the point.

"Mr and Mrs Harvelle, Your daughter is currently on a life support machine, due to her punctured lung, which allows her to breathe more easily and without pain. The few broken ribs are beginning to heal which means we may be able to take her off the supporting machine but only if the lung begins to heal at faster rate."

"We've put her on painkillers of a medium dosage to help induce natural breathing. Unfortunately, she hasn't responded as we planned to and her respiratory system refuses to work well enough to support itself."

"Well, what does that mean? If it's refusing to work, can't you increase the painkillers?" Her dad interrupted. You could tell that her mom had tears in her eyes which threatened to spill at the doctor's next words.

"We can increase the dosage but it may not necessarily work because the lung still needs to heal faster to help her breathe properly. If her situation continues like this, she may only have about a 40% chance of getting through this. I'm sorry."

After that Mrs Harvelle cried. She cried a lot. And Jo's dad took her away and they left because he didn't want his wife to break down even more.

The doctor left and I made my way to the reception desk.

"Hi, do you know when Joanna Harvelle in room 106 will be able to have visitors?" I said to the elderly nurse at the desk.

"Honey, I already told you yesterday and for the past two weeks that you are not allowed to visit anyone in the Intensive Care Unit unless you are a family member."

"But I need to see her." I argued, scrunching up some papers on the desk as I did.

"Look as soon as she gets better, you'll be able to see her but for now you'll have to wait." She said slightly frightened by the look in my reddened, tired eyes.

I sank down to the floor and hugged my body to myself, letting out a long, tormenting scream.

"BUT SHE MIGHT NOT GET BETTER!"

I suppose somewhere between the time I managed to throw whatever documents were placed on her desk and pushing off a printer or scanner of some sort, the security was called once again. In the mean time I managed to scare away the nurses and began to rip my way through whatever the hell documents were before me.

Before I knew it a guard ran my way to try and hold my arms together but out of pure anger I started to throw punches and kicks.

When the next two guards appeared I began to lose the control I never had in the situation. One of the guards held my arm down and the other two somehow tried to pick me up and keep my legs still.

More kicks and punches were flung before I almost fell to the ground but they managed to regain their poise. One began to drag me by placing his arms by my underarms and lacing his hands on my chest which I tried to bite. The second guard tried to hold my legs just as I managed to kick him square in the chest yet he seemed unaffected. The third was holding my arm down and beginning to pull my sleeve up.

I didn't understand why he was pulling up my sleeve and holding my arm still until I noticed a short woman in a nurse's outfit jogging towards us with an injection needle filled with a strange, white liquid.

Of course I still tried to wriggle out of the guards' grasp but was unlucky in doing so. The nurse came towards me and stuck the long, thin needle into my arm. She then emptied the poison-like substance into my body.

At first it seemed as if it was just water or like it didn't work. Whatever it was quickly took an effect after a few seconds and I began to feel drowsy. I could feel my consciousness begin to slip and my eyes begin to close with an unknown tiredness. The guards let go of my body and I slumped against a wall where I fought against the exhaustion and the wanting feeling of giving in and resting.

Just before I passed out I could see a few doctors run up and tell the guards instructions on where to place me and the guards picking me up for the second time today. Then the kryptonite in me took over and I slipped out of consciousness just as my body hit the hospital bed.


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm so, so sorry I haven't updated. I've had exams and then I was busy and then there's been stuff going on. Anyway here is the new chapter, there's a change in the point of view of characters somewhere in the middle but you'll see where it is. Enjoy :) x**

Patrick's POV

It's been 6 days and 19 hours since I was sedated and banned from the hospital for a week long period of time. The first day and 19 hours I spent asleep, catching up slowly on my sleep loss and recovering from the sleep deprived anxious state that I was in. That leaves 5 days during which I went almost crazy with worry about Jo. That's also less than 24 hours since Jo finally, and to be honest quite unexpectedly, woke up from her coma. That's about 18 hours since I stopped crying out of pure relief and joy from the fact that she would be alright. The fact that she beat the odds of her 30% chance of making it out alive from the car crash which was solely my fault.

It's now 5 hours until I will be able to see her. 5 hours until I can apologise for all the harm and danger I have put her through. And it's also 5 hours until I tell her how I really feel.

I've had more than enough time to figure out how it is that I feel about Jo Harvelle. I'm still not fully sure how I feel exactly and not sure about how she's gonna take it. But, I know that once the words are out of my mouth and out in the world, they will be true. And as terrified as I am of what she'll say, I'll feel better once I know how she feels towards me, too.

So, the only question left is whether I am gay or whether I'm not. Up to a few months ago I would've said sure, of course I am. Now? Not so sure. Jo Harvelle, the girl who took my heart. God, I sound cheesy. But how can I not be when this girl just comes in and becomes so much more to me than anyone I've met and anyone at the school. And even though I've completely messed it up, I'm going to try everything I can to make up for my mistakes.

"Hey Pat, do you want me to drive you to the hospital later?"

I looked at Sam. She always looked so worried now. Worried about me, worried about Jo. She says I need to eat more and sleep more. She really does try to help as much as she can.

"Yeah, please." My hoarse voice didn't sound like me much anymore. I didn't speak much really. Only since I found out the news about Jo's awaking I became slightly more energetic I guess. It was the first time in a few days since I ate a whole meal rather than bits of it.

"Be ready at quarter to six okay?" My ban finished at six o'clock in the afternoon. I've been ready since this morning, waiting for when I finally see her.

Seconds passed.

Minutes passed.

Hours passed.

I got into Sam's car and fastened the seat belt. It felt strange being in a car again. It felt absolutely wrong. Memories of the crash just replayed in my head as if it had only just happened a few seconds ago. She looked at me as if to check if I'm alright and I nodded in response.

Then we were off. The car journey was longer than I expected, only because Sam drove quite slowly as it not to startle me at the thought of being in a car again. I wasn't afraid of it. I wasn't afraid of the speed or anything else. At this point I just wanted to see Jo and nothing else mattered.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Sam parked outside the hospital. Just as I was about to leave the car, Sam locked all the doors. I sank back in my seat not wanting to know what she's going to say.

"Patrick, I just need you to know that you can't blame yourself for what happened, okay? No matter how Jo looks and how terrible you feel, I just can't see you doing this to yourself, alright? And, I love you, Pat. I hate seeing you like this."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know how to feel about the whole situation and I want her to be okay. I just _need _her to be okay." A single tear slid down my cheek and Sam pulled me into a warm embrace. She then unlocked the car doors and allowed me to get out.

"I need to go get something from Mary Elizabeth's, will you be alright getting back or do you want me to come pick you up?" She asked.

"I'll be alright, thanks Sam."

With that I turned towards the hospital and began walking to the entrance. Making my way towards the reception desk I received a few sceptic looks from a few nurses. I then signed my name in the visitors register.

"I hope you're not planning to mess my reception area again, young man." A middle aged nurse spoke to me. I hadn't realised that she was the one who didn't allow me to see Jo those couple days ago.

"No, no. I'm sorry, I just- I'm sorry." I rumbled on. The nurse smiled a little and chuckled.

"It's alright; I got a day off for it. That girl, she must be really special, huh?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah she is." I smiled a little.

"Go on, don't wanna keep you waiting."

With that I left. I made my way through the various corridors and hallways and the millions of stairways. The hospital was a freaking maze. Eventually I arrived at Hall G and followed the increasing numbers up to room 133. The door to her room was open and I could hear her tired voice talking to someone. Unfortunately I couldn't recognise who she was talking to and I didn't wanna barge in. I stayed outside the room for a bit.

"I loved you, so much, Will. I would've done anything for you. For Christ's sake, our parents thought we'd get married. You just break up with me, out of nowhere, and now you're here? How am I supposed to react to all of this?"

Jo's voice rang through my head. So she was talking to Will. Will her ex-boyfriend. How could I compete with Will? She was in love with him. Even though he completely screwed her over, she still had feelings for him, obviously. What was he doing at the hospital, though? I leaned towards the door and took a quick look at Jo. She was too invested in the conversation to notice me.

She had a couple stiches on her forehead where I could see a quite big cut. Her arms were attached to some needles and tubes filled with different colours liquids. I couldn't face her like this. I couldn't be there if Will was. I needed to stay away, before I caused any more harm. That's the second tear that slid down my cheek during this day. I turned quickly on my heel and started walking away from the girl I loved.

Jo's POV

Since I woke up there had been a trail of people coming and leaving, always asking if I'm okay and how I'm feeling. The hospital nurses were nice but, the food sucked. My current visitor was Will who had been sitting by my bedside for a while given that he was asleep when I woke up from my daily nap.

"I loved you, so much, Will. I would've done anything for you. For Christ's sake, our parents thought we'd get married. You just break up with me, out of nowhere, and now you're here? How am I supposed to react to all of this?"

"Look, Jo, I'm here because there's something I need to tell you. It's about your attack."

Seeing Will's face broke my heart. He was so angelically beautiful. I always thought we'd stay together for ever, as cliché as it sounds.

"What about my attack?" I questioned.

"It wasn't entirely a random accident like everyone thought it was." He continued.

"At the beginning of that year, I started getting involved with a bad crowd. It was a kind of gang, you could say. Anyway, at first they were alright. But then, they asked me to steal some drugs from some dealer. Of course, I refused. But, they just saw that as an opportunity, a weakness. So they beat me up. It wasn't terrible or anything, just a couple bruises. And then they found a picture of you in my wallet."

"They threatened me. Said that if I don't do it then you'll pay the price. I didn't believe them so I told them I'm out. Unfortunately the head of the gang wasn't my number one fan. He kept his word. And that's why you were attacked that night. I broke up with you because I thought that I'd protect you that way. I'm sorry."

"Will, I-" I began. I couldn't.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't ever want you to get hurt." He was crying. In the many years that I've known Will, he never cried. Ever. I took his hand and tugged it a little, motioning for him to come closer. I pulled him into a hug in which we stayed for about 10 minutes before the nurse came in.

"Oh, excuse me, I didn't mean to-I just came to give you the painkillers again." She muttered.

"It's alright. Will, we'll talk in a sec." He wiped his eyes and stood up.

"Sure, do you want any coffee or anything?" He asked.

"Oh no, she's not allowed any coffee but tea is just fine." The nurse answered for me.

I chuckled slightly. "Well, you heard the doctor." I smiled at Will, showing him that I was okay with what he'd just told me.

Patiently I waited as the nurse dosed me up on my medication. As I waited, I took my iPod and listened to some music. By the time Will came back I was half asleep but I loved tea too much to pass it up. He handed me the cup as I sat up.

"So how come you came here to Pittsburgh?" I asked.

"You left and nobody really told me. I just needed to make sure you're okay and I felt like I had to tell you the truth. At least I owe you that, right?"

"Well, are you staying?"

"I don't think so. I wasn't really planning on it, to be quite honest. And I got accepted into a really good school back in Cali, too." He said, his eyes dropping to the ground.

"I've missed you, Will. You have no idea how much I've missed you. And I've had more than enough time to forgive you, you know. But we can't live in the past and I'm moving forward, you should too."

"You forgive me? Despite what happened? Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure." I replied.

And then Will leaned in and kissed me. And I remembered all of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place. The pace on the heartbeat monitor increased and the beeping became more noticeable. He stopped.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"Just shut up and kiss me one last time, for old times' sake." I smiled and pulled him into me. The monitor began to get louder but the noise was completely ignored.

"I'll always love you Will, you know that right?"

"Of course, I love you too, Jo."

He leaned back in his chair and I slumped into the large pillows. I felt content. In spite of everything that has happened. The only thing missing was just Patrick.

"Do you know if anyone else has been here?" I asked Will.

"I don't think so. Why?"

"Patrick. I thought he would've come around by now."

"Wasn't he the one driving the car?"

"Yeah, but I can't blame him for that."

Will laughed quietly.

"What?" I asked.

"You like him." He stated as if it was the absolute truth.

"Oh, hush." And we laughed. Will spent the rest of the afternoon with me. He stayed until visiting hours were over and sang to me just before I went to sleep. In a way, I wished that things turned out differently and I was with Will. But in a way, I didn't.

**Am I the only one who's slightly in love with Will despite what happened? Remember to comment/favourite/follow. I will soon be posting pictures of Jo and Will on my profile. Love you all :*x**


	16. Chapter 16

**I loved the feedback I got from you guys about the last chapter so here's another one. Also, feel free to look at my profile for a picture of Jo and if you want you can also message me because I have no social life :) x**

Jo's POV

It was weird getting out of hospital and coming back home. It was weird being in hospital in the first place but after time it got pretty comfy. That is, except for the food. By the end of my stay I was almost convinced that the chef was paid extra to make such horrible food to make people leave quicker. Will visited me almost every day but he's almost positive about moving back to California. I've been trying to convince him to go, as much as I don't want him to, we both need to move on from what happened.

Recovery had been going well. The doctors said that my lungs are working better. I still have to wear my arm in the sling for a couple of weeks but it's only to make sure I don't damage anything whilst it's still vulnerable. The best advantage is that I'm not allowed to run or exercise for a while because of my lungs. That means no sports for me, thank God!

My parents have been really great since the accident. I think my mom's quite shaken up because of the last time I spent so long in the hospital. My dad took a couple days off work to make sure I could still function around the house properly but my mom had some important interviews she had to fly to New York for.

Charlie and Sam had come to see me. So have Bob and Mary Elizabeth and Alice. Yet, Patrick still hadn't come to visit me. Since I've woken up, I've been really hoping to see how he was and if he was okay after his breakdown that day. I wanted to see him. I needed to see his smile again, to feel better. Luckily, I was able to get in contact with Sam who had just parked her car outside my house so I hope to get some help from her somehow.

"Hey Sam."

Sam hugged me tightly and I could practically feel the air being squeezed out of my lungs, not literally. It took her a couple seconds to remain her composure and I guided her to the kitchen.

"How have you been?" she asked. I poured us both a drink and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa.

"I've been good. Not really bad considering the situation, I guess. How about you?"

"I'm fine, I'm good. Patrick, I'm not so sure about." This caught my attention.

"What happened to Patrick? Is he alright?" I asked concerned.

"He blames himself for what happened mainly. He was at the hospital practically 24/7 waiting for you to wake up." I listened closely as Sam explained the events that took place when I was in the coma.

"Actually, one day, when you were still in a coma, he wanted to see you but you were still in ICU and the nurses they wouldn't let him. So he absolutely trashed the reception desk area and had to be sedated by the guards."

"Oh my God. Was he alright from the accident though? Why didn't he visit recently instead?"

"He was alright. The other driver hit from your side that's why you were a lot worse. And he did go to visit. Once. At first, he was banned for about a week so he couldn't come when you woke up but I dropped him off at the hospital a couple days ago but he hasn't gone back since. I don't know why."

"Oh no. He might have seen me with Will. He was always there. No. He must have heard the wrong conversation at the wrong time." I rambled on.

What if he saw us kiss? I didn't want to ruin my chances with Patrick because of a kiss. And it didn't matter because I've moved on but Patrick doesn't know that. And he doesn't know how I feel towards him right now despite everything we've been through so far. He doesn't deserve to feel that way. And I really need to finally tell him that I-

"Hold on a sec, who's Will?" Sam interrupted my trail of thoughts.

"It doesn't matter right now; I need to go see Patrick. Can you drive me?" I stood up pacing the room.

"Sure, let's go."

At this moment, I really appreciated the fact that Sam didn't push anyone to tell her anything. She didn't drive quickly back to hers. Every time a car passed next to us I'd flinch and if it drove very quickly I sometimes jumped a little too. She could see that I was scared and wanted to get out of the car as fast as possible but it would've probably been worse to drive quickly. I knew I'd have to get used to driving normally eventually but it wasn't my fault that my natural instincts caused me to act like that. It wasn't anybody's fault.

Finally we arrived and Sam threw her home keys to me. I quickly got out but Sam stayed in the car; I assume it was to give me and Patrick some time. I walked to the front door and opened it using the key before making my way inside.

After checking the rooms downstairs I began walking upstairs where there was still no sign of Patrick. The strange silence made me uncomfortable. I pushed Patrick's door open only to see his messy bed cover and Patrick's head pointing out from one of the sides. I walked silently towards him and knelt down beside him. His breathing was quiet. Looking at his distinctive features, I pushed a lock of hair back from his face. Suddenly his eyes opened and he pushed himself against the back of the bed to sit up.

"Jo?"

"The one and only."

"What are you doing here?" Patrick wiped his eyes from his sleepiness.

"I came to see you"

For some reason a look of confusion crossed over Patrick's face.

"What happened when you came to the hospital?" I asked. He stood up and threw the bed sheets off to uncover shirtless Patrick with only a pair of sleeping shorts on.

"I saw you. I saw you _with him_. That's what happened." He was bitter. Mostly very upset but bitter.

How could I explain what happened with Will to Patrick without him becoming even more mad at me? I was selfish to ask for happy Patrick but that's what I wanted.

"He finally told me what happened. He told me why he's here and he told me the real reason behind my attack. Whatever you saw, we've both agreed to move on now."

"What exactly do you mean by the real reason?"

"Will made some mistakes and pissed off some bad people. And the attack was the result of that happening. But it's in the past now and I've moved on."

"So it was all his fault? How are you able to forgive so easily, Jo?"

"I don't know, Pat. I just think what's done is done and we can't go back to it. I want to move forward. I don't want to live in the shadows and despairs of my past. Just because there were some fuck ups along the way doesn't mean I have to focus on those instead of trying to be happy."

"What about the car crash? Have you moved on from that?" He asked silently. He hasn't looked me in the eye since I came and it was beginning to scare me a little.

"You know I can't blame you for that, Patrick." I took a step closer to him but he moved back even more. There was a small pang in my heart.

"Why not?! You could've died Jo! Don't you understand? You could have died and it's my entire fault!"

"But I didn't. And that's what matters. And the fact that we're both gonna be fine and no one is going to be permanently damaged." I tried to reason with Patrick's erratic behaviour.

He slid down on the floor and put his arms around his knees. I walked to him and sat down in the same position to face him.

"I thought I was going to lose you."

"And I thought I wouldn't see you anymore and they wouldn't let me. I got angry."

He stood up and began pacing the room.

"And then after they threw me out I was asleep for so long and when I woke up you were fine. Like it was all a dream. I didn't know whether maybe the accident didn't actually happen. But then I went to the hospital and I saw you with him."

"It was like I finally got the courage to see how badly I screwed things up with you and how you were feeling. And then at the hospital I saw how happy you were with him and all that courage vanished and I couldn't take that happiness away from you."

Patrick's talk broke my heart. He thought that by avoiding me he wouldn't remind me off the accident and make me less miserable.

"Patrick you must clearly not understand how much I missed you and wanted to see you ever since I woke up. Will was there, yeah but, I lost that feeling quite some time ago."

"I was gonna tell you-" I couldn't hear the rest of Patrick's sentence because of how quietly he said it. I stood up again and looked at him waiting for him to repeat himself.

"I was going to finally tell you how I feel." He said looking up at me.

"How you feel about what?" I asked stupidly, having no idea what he was talking about.

"How I feel about you."

"But, I thought you were gay?"

"Honestly, I don't even know anymore, Jo. I was gay and quite happy with it but then somehow you manage to defy that and frankly, I'm okay with maybe slowly falling in love with you."

I stop for a second. Okay, a minute. Maybe two.

Falling in love with me? Patrick? I remember when I thought I was crazy with the idea of having a crush on him.

"What?"

"Look, I'm not saying those three words yet okay? But I'm sure that one day I might be able to. I just want to know how you feel."

Instead of saying anything I just wrapped my arms around him and kissed him just as we had done not too long ago in the same car that caused us to argue.

Patrick pushed me against the wall as we continued the small display of affection.

"Will you be my girlfriend, Jo?" He asked when he pulled away.

I smiled, "Of course I will."

"Does that mean I have both boys _and _girls to worry about taking you from me then?"

Patrick laughed. Finally, the Patrick I missed and adore.

"You don't have to worry about anyone at all."

Patrick pulled away again and smiled his signature smile.

"Except maybe Channing Tatum, but he's got such a great ass."


End file.
